It's a Christmas Miracle

I got a B in Research Methods. Merry Christmas to me!

Backwards Christmas

This month has been full of celebrating birthdays, going to showers, doing some Christmas shopping, and working with clients to help them cope over the holidays. It's amazing how for so many people the holidays are just crummy. I've had my share of crumminess, and it takes a lot of strength (usually the kind that comes from the divine) to get through them. I had my clients do a holiday safety plan that my supervisor recommended, which helps them to be aware of situations that could trigger grief and depression and then they write out their healthy coping ideas.

At this time of year I usually am filled with mixed emotions. I have a huge family that loves me that I will miss there in Minnesota this year as I will be on vaca '07 with Amy Mo, Christina, and Laura Rod in California. They are all turning 30 this month and wanted to do something fun. They're letting me go (I am only 28 and 3 months) if I pretend that I'm 30. I'm really excited to go on this trip and do something different. Getting out of the south. Seeing some new stuff. Meeting Jim Johnson a.k.a. Vicky at Alcatraz (10 pts to anyone who knows the movie reference). I've only been to L.A. so I look forward to seeing the new sights in San Diego and San Francisco. Tonight I head to the Morrison's to celebrate Christmas with them. I was telling my aunt Tanya about how my usual tradition was to go with her family for Christmas morning breakfast, but this year I am going with the Morrison's to Waffle House!! So it will be a fun but backwards Christmas since I will be full embracing the southern roots this year.

One of the highlights this months besides getting an opportunity to relax a bit and hang out with people, is playing on a flag football team. My friend Dan organized it. I was soooo stoked because it's a short season that last basically the exact period of time that I am off of school. It's been really fun getting to play outside and I've gotten to meet some fun new people. What a breath of fresh air. Quite literally fresh, when we played last week it was 40 degrees and super windy, but we still managed to win a game.

I've attached a view pictures here to capture all the activities of the past few weeks!

Things to do now that my semester is over

1. Go to Savage Pizza for a celebratory meal
2. Get my resume up to date
3. Do all of my October/November/December to-do's in Navigator (MTW stuff)
4. Give blood
5. Read "Kite Runner" by Kahled Hosseini and "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl
6. Figure out my bank account
7. Do a word study on different emotions in the Bible
8. Spend time with friends and family
9. Get ready for my Christmas trip to California!!
10. Maybe buy a Christmas present or two
11. Clean the house
12. Exercise
13. Get my bridesmaids dress altered

Thank God

My semester is now over. I feel like I barely made it.

My final today was for my research methods class which has been the nemesis of my counseling educational career. I have lost a lot of blood, sweat, and tears for that class. I know today we were all delirious. I kept telling people that today was Pearl Harbor. I even joked and told Trevor that he probably remembered Pearl Harbor because he was that old. Trevor is not that old. It was a ridiculously hard test, but whatever, it's over.

On my way home from my final today I was thinking, can it be that I only have one semester to go and then I'll have a Master's degree? Whaaaaaaaattttt?

When helping hurts

LOL- I always used to say to Gina "when helping hurts, Gina...when helping hurts!!" whenever she was trying to "help" or explain something to me at MTW and it wasn't making any sense. Hilarious. She would always get frustrated and laugh. I have no idea how anyone puts up with me.

So today, I had another "incident" with helping....hurting, I guess. I went to CFA on my lunch break from MARR. The guys are all off-site on Wednesdays, so typically the day is more laid back and you have choices about how to spend your time. I had to make some late-afternoon phone calls that would put me over my hours, so I took an 1 1/2 and went to CFA to eat lunch and work on my take-home final that's due Friday. I had a great lunch and got the final done- score. I got another refill on my Coke Zero (the CFA on Buford Hwy has Coke Zero, how about that) and left.

I was parked really close to the door. As I walked to my car, there was a guy sitting on the ledge outside of the CFA. In hindsight, he may have been sitting on a tipped over newspaper stand. But anyway, I caught his eye and he asked "can you buy me some food?" I was shocked he didn't ask me for money. But he did look homeless. Or poor. Actually, he kind of looked like Brent, with a worn out backpack. Anyway, I said "sure, what would you like?" And his eyes lit up. "Chicken salad." I said ok, and went inside and ordered him a chicken salad sandwich and a water. I realized after I ordered that he may have meant an actual salad. But I comforted myself by thinking he's probably just hungry and would take anything. So I get the food and bring it to him, saying:
"I realized that after I ordered you probably meant the salad and not the sandwich, but I figured it would probably be ok."
He says: "No, I can't eat that, I would throw up."
I say: "You're sure you don't want to eat it."
He says: "No!"
I say: "Do you want the water at least?"
He says: "No"
I say: "Ok, that's fine. Well, I guess I'll keep it and eat it myself." I head into my car. He proceeds to get his stuff and walk into CFA. With what intentions, I don't know.

On my 6 min drive back to MARR I contemplated this situation. I had a $2.45 sandwich and a water and a full Coke Zero in the car. My stomach was already full with my number 2 combo. I did not make a poor person happy as planned. I am not poor, but am happy to eat the sandwich later, now that I have it. I also thought a lot about Kenya, and how the kids there were so happy to get any food, even worm medicine tablets.

It's possible he may have been ill, or not with it cognitively. I don't know. I don't want to judge. But I know that it does happen, with a variety of explanations I'm sure, that even the poor in this country can feel entitled.

Oh well. I left the sandwich accidentally in the fridge at MARR, so I don't know what that makes me. I just hope it's still good tomorrow.

It works

Sometimes when I'm writing in my clients files at the end of the night I want to write NEWSFLASH: my client is getting better!!!

Zap

As I have previously reported on this blog, you can find anything having to do with dealing with cats on the internet.

My third main trial with my cat Sox continues to be her crazy drive to run out the front door. I thought I had her pretty well trained by yelling "no" at her and then squirting her radically with water from the spray bottle. But it seems like none of these tactics have had long lasting effects.

I spent last weekend relaxing at Amy Mo's cabin. When she dropped me off on Sunday afternoon, Jamie was coming out of the door to go with Nathan somewhere. Sox immediately ran out and ran down the sidewalk. This has been like the millionth time this has happened in the past couple of weeks so I was pretty frustrated.

When I got inside I immediately googled something to the effect of "cats running out the door". One of the links that came up was for the "Scatmat" which is a battery operated, clear-plastic mat that you lay in any problem area. When the cat steps on it it delivers a mild shock similar to getting shocked by static. A.k.a it's more frightening then painful. I thought it was awesome. I called the Tucker Petsmart and sure enough they had two of them. I ran over there and got it, came home, and laid it across the landing right by the front door.

For a long time Sox just sniffed it but didn't step on it. Then Jamie and Nathan came home. Sox went over to the door, stepped on the mat (I didn't witness it, but they did) and she freaked out, ran around the house and then bolted up the stairs. After a while I went to my room and called her name and she came out from under my bed looking happy to see me. So she wasn't permanently traumatized. I think Jamie and Nathan were though. But they witnessed her reaction firsthand.

Now, one day later, she just c-r-e-e-p-s by the door with a ton of paranoia and no sign of her darting out. Once you train them the mat instructions said you can roll up the mat and you won't need it anymore. I'm pretty stoked. I did step on it myself just to check it out. It does shock you, but it doesn't hurt. With shoes on you can't feel it at all. It's just the anticipation of the shock really freaks out out. Exactly the point!!

The safer option

I tried the cycle class at LA Fitness this week, which seemed to me a safer option than biking outside especially now that it's dark like at 5:30. I'm also basically bored with every other exercise option that LA Fitness offers, but I still need exercise so I wanted to try it out. First of all, it's not necessarily safer. Water bottle incidents, like dropping them while your legs are radically pumping, is not good. Another item to note, you watch yourself the whole hour of biking because of the huge mirror across the way. I found myself to be not too interesting, but others, very interesting. People really got into it. I think my teacher had a following or something. The music is also really loud, which I really liked. I like to be yelled at when I'm working out. And it was 70's music, which I used to love in college. However, all in all it was quite an enjoyable workout. I think I'm going to try it out again next week. It was pretty intense, so more than likely I won't be able to walk tomorrow (why am I always more sore on the second day?).

On another note, I'm at Panera right now procrastinating the start of my third paper this week, and there's this girl sitting across from me on the other side of the room that looks just like Laura R from behind. The Laura R when she straightens her hair. I haven't done the causal walk-over to see if it's really her, but I'm assuming not, based on the girl's shoes. They are white and sort of weird looking. Laura definitely has better taste than that. In case it is her...well..."hi laura!! And sorry I just made fun of your shoes!"

Natural High

I think one of my natural highs is printing off a paper that I just finished. I love hearing that printer going and knowing all I have to do is collect the pages (from the floor-the paper catcher thingy came off), staple them together, and turn them in. It means that whatever I was worked on is now done. I got to experience that last night with my research methods paper and will be doing that again tonight with my human growth and development paper. Waa-hooo!!!

Enjoying the break

I have LOVED not having to go to class this week- just two days at MARR have been my only responsibilities. Sunday night instead of studying I watched a movie with Nathan and Jamie and was thoroughly happy the whole time, even though we only gave the movie a 6 out of 10 (Sliding Doors is what we saw- what was the point of doing the movie that way?). It was just so nice not to do something serious. I told Rochelle the feeling must be the same for her when she gets to have a babysitter and spend time with her husband away from the kids. Everything seems more fun when you don't have a lot of it.

Yesterday I had the whole day and night free. Jamie and I went to see a movie in the middle of the day all the way out in Snellville. I had to be somewhere by 3:00 so that was the only theatre within a 25 mile radius that had the movie we wanted to see showing early enough. We saw "Lars and the Real Girl" which was so, so great. I would see it again in a heartbeat. I don't think it would be everyone's cup of tea (I tried to convince some people at MARR so go see it and they were skeptical) but we both thought it was awesome and very unique. Then I cleaned the whole house including dusting the fan blades in my room. It looked quite spectacular. My dad is coming to visit for Thanksgiving (he should be here by 10:00pm tonight) so I used it as an excuse to really do some hard core cleaning.

Today I was at my internship and I had the whole day to make family contacts and got a ton done which felt great. Because we didn't have a whole lot of staff and it's the day before Thanksgiving we treated the patients and staff for pizza and the patients got to watch this video of a one-man play about addiction. I thought it sounded weird but they really liked it apparently. I think they were just glad to not have to sit in group. During the lunch I told the patients that I was making stuffing for my thanksgiving for the first time and had found a recipe for stuffing on the internet that called for oysters. I thought it was strange but yet sounded good for some reason. One guy had had it before and granted me the reassurance I needed that it would taste good. Now in general these people are used to being master liars and manipulaters but I don't care I'll take all the encouragement I could get.

So tomorrow my dad, my friend Angie, and I head over to Rochelle's for Thanksgiving. My aunt and uncle Julie and Steve will be there too. Last time I went over to Rochelle's all 3 kids greeted me at the door with "Hi Aunt Jessie!!". Can't beat that.

I'll miss you Matt and Shannon and those celebrating in Minn!!

A funny

There's been a patient this week at my internship who has really been struggling with whether or not to stay in the program. He's been processing his feelings though about it in groups and with counselors. On Monday when the counselor asked him how he was doing he said, "I think I looked at myself and I kicked myself's ass."

I couldn't help but laugh. He's right though. Way to go.

Nothing is normal

I have this constant, overwhelming sense that nothing really is my life is "normal".

I don't work in the MTW office anymore, so I mostly get the scoop from my roommate Jamie. When I listen to the stories I realize that I can go days without ever thinking about missions or missionaries. For example, our huge Global Missions conference is this weekend and she was telling me about all the missionaries who are going to be there and I was like...oh yeah ...there will be missionaries there! I was looking forward to seeing a lot of my Kenya teammates and the Makuku's, but I got about Tom Courtney and Alan Boal and Ken Matlack and those other cool folks that MTW is blessed to have. It wasn't too long ago that missions was my whole life. Now if I think about missions, I think about Kenya and going back there. Or reminding myself to call recruits. And that's about it.

I think with Jamie getting married in 72 days (my dress came in today!!!) and looking forward to that and living with Amy Mo, I am excited but also weirded out. I haven't had a new roommate in a while. I'm pretty adaptable but it will just be weird to like talk to Jamie on the phone and then like set up times to hang out.

This week at my internship was family workshop week where families come and learn more about the disease of addiction and how it's really a family disease that affects them too. On Thursday afternoon we have a group therapy time where the patients and family members share with each other, in front of everyone else, how their loved one's disease has impacted them and vice versa. It's really powerful and painful. Afterward we have a debrief time with just the families. This time I co-lead the group and took the lead on a lot of the questions. For that hour I am the "expert" on helping families process what they go through with loved with one with an addiction. Could I have done that in April? No. That's weird.

In May I will be leaving MTW to find a job working full-time in counseling. Again, another weird, but I'm hoping it will be a culmination of all of this experience and my hard work in school. I hope it will be really great.

I've decided

That when I'm done with graduate school I am going to spend a whole day and do nothing but watch movies. Some days (like today) I am just so tired of THINKING........and truthfully, I am also tired of irrational people. YES I am aware that I am going into a profession where I will deal with this on a daily basis...

Baby Annelise is here!

Baby Annelise Louise McNay finally arrived on Friday, November 2, 2007 at 10:18am. I did not get THE CALL fortunately, so I was able to sleep all night and spend most of Friday writing a paper. Laura was the go-to gal, and I'm sure she did an awesome job with big sis Hadleigh.

I got to hold Annelise at the hospital when she was just one day old. I totally forgot how small newborns are!! Wow. She was real super cute.

FYI- this pic was taken after I was in class all day and I think I was playing with my hair or something because it's like flyin' away......

Hand in Marriage Like No Other

I usually read a chapter or two of an easy-read sort of book at night to shut my brain off and try to get sleepy. Lately I've been reading an abridged version of the biography of Adoniram Judson, the first American missionary. His story is pretty incredible, wild, crazy and unbelievable. One section that really struck me was how Judson asked for his wife Ann's hand in marriage. This is what he said to Ann's father:

I have now to ask whether you can consent to part with your daughter, whether you can consent to her departure to a heathen land, and her subjection to the hardships and sufferings of a missionary life? Whether you can consent to her exposure to the dangers of the ocean, to the fatal influence of the southern climate of India, to every kind of want and distress, to degradation, insult, persecution, and perhaps a violent death!

Pretty romantic huh! =) Although, the missionary part of me thinks it's pretty cool. Her father left the decision up to her. She said yes, and twelve days after they were married they sailed for India, got redirected, and spent the rest of their lives ministering in Burma. Judson spent a lot of time learning the Burmese language and then translating the Bible into Burmese. At the time there was no one who had put the Burmese language into print. The Bible the Burmese still use today is the same version Judson finally completed after twenty years of work. Amazing.

Finally final

About a week ago I had the thought that happiness oftentimes comes when you share your life with others. That's one of the things I love about counseling and something I've come to value in all those I have relationships with.

This concept of happiness was really evident to me last Sunday afternoon as I shared in an open house for the Vogt family, celebrating the adoption of Nicholas (in the picture being held by his mom) which was two years in the making. The Vogt's are really special people in my life. I met Shannon about five years ago when we volunteered together at Atlanta Care one Saturday and I found out we went to the same church. A few months later I saw her at church and we got to talking and later set up a time to hang out. Shannon has been a dear friend and mentor to me. She is a Godly example of a wife, mom, and laborer for the Lord despite many hardships that have occurred along her journey.

I've really gotten to know their family quite well. They adopted their son Jack in 2001. He is 7 years old now. When Jack was 5 they got Nicholas as a foster child. Nicholas was 3 1/2 then. They had been praying for 2 years for God to bring the right child to them and had been praying ever since getting Nicholas that God would finalize the adoption. Nicholas was adopted from Floyd County which is where I went to college- how 'bout that.

Shannon reminded me at the party that I was one of the first people to meet Nicholas. They brought him home from his other foster family in late September of 2005. I think about a week later I came over to have my annual birthday dinner with them. I remember Nicholas was really shy then and he would try to talk to you but it was barely understandable. Now he is a healthy, growing little boy with almost perfect speech and a joyful personally.

Being able to spend time with them at the party was really special. It is so neat to see such a clear representation of faith and God's faithfulness to them.

The picture is of the Vogt family with the judge on October 4, 2007 when Nicholas became theirs forever. The other is a fun picture that Claire, Shannon's daughter, took of the both of us.

Baby Watch 2007

For the past month I have been on call for the McNay's, who are pregnant with their second child, in case they go into labor at night. If it happens, the plan is for me to get "the call" and come straight over to be there for their 19 month old, Hadleigh, while they head to Piedmont Hospital. I would then be there when Hadleigh gets up and I would fed her breakfast, etc then call the Washburn's to get her and then I would go to class or MARR or supervision or whatever.

The funny thing is, I've totally forgotten that I was on call until last Wed. I realized suddenly that Ami was due on the 27th and so ON ANY NIGHT she could call. Whoops. Good thing I didn't leave my phone in the car. Ami does have a backup though, Laura, which is GREAT just in case.

Friday night both Laura and I and a bunch of people were at Nathan's house watching a movie. When it was over I noticed my phone was beeping to tell me I had a message. Suddenly I had a sinking feeling and checked the "missed call" to find out it was indeed Ami McNay. Laura had a message too. In a panic we listened to it thinking that Hadleigh was either awakened from her slumber and not happy at the hospital with them or I don't know, left there?? Who knows-we weren't thinking rationally. Luckily it was Ami saying that she had tried cod liver oil and having contractions so she just wanted to give a warning. Whew. So when I went home that night I packed a bag so I could be ready.

I woke up yesterday morning and no phone call. No baby then. Ami called around 10:30, really restless with trying to wait for so long. Being the supportive friend I am I suggested we go for a walk in my neighborhood complete with a ton of hills to see if we could further propel baby girl "Fred" from the safety of the womb. No dice. Ami and Dave were at church today with "Fred" still inside.

Oh, and I found out that I am only on call on weekends and Laura is during the week, so I am now off the hook hopefully indefinitely. Because we are all really wanting that baby to come before Friday!!

Then I will finally find out the name too. "Fred" is just what they've been calling her for now (I'm sure all of you are now relieved to know that) and I've done a great job of guessing names but wrong thus far. I'm sure it's going to be something awesome though!! We're all pumped to meet her face-to-face.

Some truth for today

Part of my group supervision class on Thursday is for each of us to take turns doing a case presentation, where we have to get more extensive info together about a client we're seeing, play 15 minutes of tape from our session, and do a devotional that relates to the client and therapeutic process.

Last week my friend Alison did hers and she shared a neat verse that works so well for counseling but really just anyone needing encouragement for change in their lives. It was Ephesians 4:23-24, and she read it in the New Living Translation. Here it is:

"Instead, there must be a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes. You must display a new nature because you are a new person, created in God's likeness- righteous, holy, and true."

To me, those verses instill hope for those who are seeking to follow God but still get caught in old ways of thinking and behaving. Which goes to one of the things I love about counseling so much. It's the most humbling profession. Just when I really want my client to change and experience resistance in that process, is when I see how I do that so much in my own life, with God and others.

To quote one of my professors, "counseling is just helping one beggar helping another beggar to find food." They just might be farther ahead or at a different place in the journey.

I've noticed

Other people who don't live in Georgia may not know this, but in our state we're under major drought. Supposedly we will run out of water in 90 days. I don't know how this could possibly be true, but maybe it is, because our governor has been on the news blaming the Chattahoochie River and the state of Alabama for stealing our water. Now I don't know about you but I've been to the river and Alabama, and I don't want to be drinking any water out of either....

Anyway, I called a recruit last night who lives in Chicago and the first thing she said was "so do you guys have like water?" It was hilarious. I told her I just cleaned the house and ran the dishwasher so it was looking good at least for that night.

It is kind of weird though. In Kenya people just used this group spicket near their huts and that's all the water they had. At our house in Kenya we ran out of water sometimes but then just took less showers.

Can you run out of water in America? I'm sure. But it's funny how disconnected I feel, especially since I don't have plants to water and I already don't shower every day. And gosh darn it, I'm still good looking! So we'll see what happens. we need to just keep praying for rain!

Another episode of things I learn from MARR

For the past two weeks I have been sitting in on a different primary group in the afternoons with a different counselor. The primary groups are smaller, with only about 3-4 guys in them as compared to about 10-15, and they are usually more like group therapy/process times where their counselor can go more in depth into their lives.

Since I started at MARR last May, I've been sitting in with my supervisor's group in the afternoons. But it's been time to change so I can see how other counselors do it.

The counselor I'm with now knows A TON about AA and the 12-steps. He has the best sayings and I've learned more and more about the disease model of addiction from him. It's been really cool.

Here's a couple of sights/sayings I've gotten from him this week:
"What is the alcoholic's favorite drink?" More
"What is the definition of mental obsession?" When one thought overrides all other thoughts
"What is the definition of resentment?" "Re" means to do something again, and "sentment" means to have a feeling about something, so "resentment" means to have ill-feelings over and over again
How do you manage decision making in recovery? RAAF- Resist, Analyze, Admit, Forgive
What is the best movie example of the 9th step? Billy Madison, when he makes amends with his high school friend, and he takes Billy off his hit list.

What in the heck is that?

I might be procrastinating from homework of doom, but alas, I miss the blog so I am writing on it dangit!

I've noticed that whenever you move into a new place, no matter how much you prepare, plan, and research the house that you're about to live in, there's always unexpected and bothersome twists. In the apt I lived in Sandy Springs, it was the occasional gunshot and random fire alarms. In Graceland, it was living with a door to the outside in my room and hearing every single rock and leaf rub against the door which sounded EXACTLY like a mass murderer attempting to break in would, I'm sure.

In the townhouse, during the fall season at least, it's been the dropping of the acorns on my deck. I have never encountered this before, but if anyone else has, please let me know. It's very intriguing. My windows in my room face the pond, my deck, and this big tree that towards over the deck. It's really beautiful. However, with the change in season, the tree has been dropping huge acorns which land on the wooden deck with a loud BANG. If they hit the adorondak chairs or my grill, the bang is even louder. It sounds like someone is throwing rocks off my roof. And it happens about every 10-15 min.

Besides scaring the poop out of my cat and preventing me from falling asleep, it's been bearable. I've thought of really practical solutions like laying a big blanket on the deck to cushion the fall for the acorns or shaking the tree really hard for a few minutes to see if all of them will fall off.

I'll let you know if I think of anything else equally brilliant....

Please bear with me

Hello you faithful view who still try to read my blog! I know I haven't written anything in a while. I would like to ask prayer for myself this month. I have a lot going on, mostly with school assignments that all seem to be due this month. I'm also getting my community presentation out of the way (graduation requirement) by speaking at my church's youth group on Sunday about boundaries. I've never spoken to youth before, although working in addictions is kind of like working with youth sometimes. So yes, I could use prayer. And any scripture you'd like to email me that has to do with ohhh like strength and patience and peace and stuff would be welcomed with open arms!!

Here are a couple of highlights though from the past few weeks that I would have loved to write whole blogs about:
-having a birthday dinner at Brio (picture above) which included the best salmon I've ever had!!
-visiting with my aunt Sherrie who was here last Tues/Wed for business. She's the second family member from the Rausch side to see my house, and I was really excited!! We got to hang out and have dinner at Brickstore Pub which is always a great place to unwind and ice cream at Jake's. Basically, she pretty much got the bomb Atlanta experience between me and Brickstore.
-I got a really fantastic surprise for my birthday about a week ago which was from my sister-in-law Shannon. She is a scrapbooker, and she created for me a whole mini-scrapbook of pictures from each of my birthdays from childhood. What a treasure!!! I didn't even try to hold back the tears when I opened it and realized what it was.
-I've got 10 more homeless packs ready to hand out!! This time I included a pack of oatmeal. I don't know if that's practical, but I thought, why not. Healthy, and different.
-I attended a Christian leadership Conference called Catalyst, which was phenomenal. I wished it would have fallen on a different week (I had to miss two classes, my internship, and supervision, but it gave me class credit I needed). But I got the CD's and will review them in Dec when my semester is over!!
-I've been able to sit in on two couples therapy sessions at my internship, which I really loved, and participate in Operation Mobilization's missionary assessment by doing four psych interviews. I loved that too and both experiences have allowed me to grow tremendously as a counselor.
-I got a flat tire today, but the good thing is that it happened at my internship, so since I work with mostly men, it was no problem finding someone to help me! And I made it to a mechanic near my school who took the nail out and fixed it in a jiffy so I only missed half class.

Well, that's it. I've got to work on my boundaries talk. Later!

The gifts that keep on giving

So yesterday was my birthday, and I was overwhelmed by how many people remembered and wished me well on my big 2-8. Thanks to modern technology, I received a lot of texts, facebook messages, and phone calls in addition to in-person well-wishes. I felt very, very loved so thanks to everyone! I'd like to give a shout out to my friends Gates and Melissa for giving me my first birthday wish by text message at 7:05am. That's dedication people. Jamie was still in bed but she gets the award for last in person wish award, and only person to wish me happy birthday by white board.

Last weekend I also helped celebrate my honorary nephew Quin's birthday who turned 3. Birthdays are so much fun when you are kids. It's like the best thing ever in the world for them. You definitely lose that as an adult. Anyway, my cousin Rochelle was there with her kids and with my birthday coming up the anticipation (at least in my mind) was building over what kind of gift Rochelle would get me this year. Over the years we have been cousins/friends there has been many "thoughtful" gifts given by her to me (she's much more creative than me in this realm). I'll recap some of the most memorable here:

-for my 17th (probably) birthday, receiving a male beta fish that we promptly overfed and killed. Luckly Petsmart had a 7 day money-back guarantee on fish, so Rochelle told me we should freeze it and bring it back. I remember slapping it on the counter in a ziplog baggie and demanding a refund. They gave me a female beta fish (which look different) and it lived for 3 years. I named it Xena. My mom had to begrudingly take care of it while I was in college.
-for my 22nd birthday/graduation from college, receiving a bread maker. I was pretty stoked about it but then lost steam when I realized it actually took many hours to bake. At that time, if it couldn't be microwaved, I couldn't handle it.
-for my 26th (roughly) birthday, receiving warm socks imported from like Scotland or something and a pink diamond studded watch. I never got so many compliments as I did with that watch. I lost it in Minnesota about a year ago and was pretty sad. I still have the socks and they were very appreciated especially in Kenya last summer when it was freezing in our house.
-for my 27th birthday, receive an electronic jar opener. I've used it twice. It's pretty powerful.
-this year, I got a Starbucks gift card. More functional than creative, but still much appreciated. Frappicino here I come!!

My first bike accident

After owning my bike for two months, I finally had my first bike accident yesterday. It's sort of like a right of passage, especially knowing so many brave survival stories of bike experts in my life of people that have gone before me like Stephen Tynes, Angie, Kate, and Courtney.

My accident, in a nutshell, consisted of me flying over my handbars and sliding, on my face mostly, on somebody's front lawn until my momentum finally ceased. Did anyone witness it?

Ohhhhhh yeah.

All in all though, I left my accident largely unharmed. I had to spit out some grass that was in my mouth and ice up my nose a bit when I got home. I know I had to of scared the crap out of the dad and his two kids who witnessed the whole thing and were the big reason I ended up in the grass anyways. I was trying to avoid running into them on the sidewalk we shared. When I sat up and declared "that's why I wear a helmet" and they realized I wasn't bleeding or anything, they could close their mouths that were gaping open in surprise and move on with their bike ride. Probably too everyone who was driving on Chamblee-Tucker road about 4:45pm yesterday got a pretty good chuckle!

But that's ok though. I'm a seasoned bike rider now.

Plus, I got a compliment on my bike by the kids' dad, who thought it was pretty awesome. I was definitely proud to say: "Oh thanks. And I got it at Target."

I can't do this alone

On Thursday mornings I have two rounds of supervision which focus on the client I see on Tuesday nights through my school's Hope Counseling Center. I can have up to four clients but right now most people just have one. It usually picks up in the fall I've heard, so we'll see if I get someone new. Currently, my client gets a lot of attention because it's only her I have to focus on in my supervision times.

From 8:30-9:30am I meet with Terry who is my individual supervisor, followed by a 10:00-11:30 class of group supervision with six students and a PSI professor. Yesterday was my turn to do a case presentation for the group which included a devotional, playing 15 minutes of tape from the last session, and explaining my treatment plans and goals for future sessions utilizing a major counseling theory. I was kind of nervous about it, especially about the tape. As a beginning therapist, you never feel confident playing tape for your supervisor, even though you know it will be worth it. The whole thing ended up being so awesome though. I gained about 6 new sights about my client which included new suggestions of things to ask and try. Plus, everyone encouraged me and said I did a great job. I was the first one to do mine this semester so I was a little uncertain about that as well. It was so helpful but I am also glad it's over with!

Here's some of my favorite bits of advice I've gotten, mostly from Terry, thus far:
-you will never really harm your client (advice given as I moan over something I said that I thought was stupid)
-the relationship you have with your client is always more important than the techniques you chose to employ.
-as long as someone is alive, there's hope for change.
-if a theme/comment is important, it will come up again in the future (this advice is good when I feel afraid that I missed a chance to say something in session)
-trust your instincts.

Yet another singleness thought

I think one of the hardest things about being single is how permanent it feels to the one who is in it. In a very real way it feels like it will always be this way. However, every else besides the single person believes wholeheartedly the opposite. They might say to me don't worry...you will find someone. He's out there..just be patient. Don't lose hope. But when it's you in your own head you think "this will take a freaking miracle straight from God to get me out of this!! I don't care how hot I am in this red shirt!!"

Things that make me smile

Sometimes thoughout my week I catch myself having the same thoughts over and over again that usually surround the counseling conversations and relationships with people that I interact this week. For me this seems to get me worried, although I want to keep thinking about all these things in hopes that by the time I see the person again I will be more ready. But really, it kind of gets me down and prevents me from the joyful things that happen each day.

I started wondering, in light of this, what makes me smile. This way I have something to direct my thoughts towards when I'm driving home, fresh off of a stressful phone call or situation that will bring some joy and a smile right away. Here's some of the things I came up with:

-my cat's new favorite sleeping place, which for some reason is on the landing on the top of the stairs. When she's sleeping there and you get home and walk through the door, you can look up the stairs and she'll roll over so all you can see is her cute little face. You also can't help but stoop down to pet here on your way to your room.
-getting to counsel an adolencent for the first time, and really liking it and it going well.
-my teacher Deanne Terrell, who's always super southern and genuinely warm to each student.
-"Punchy" and "Margharita" Amy
-getting to see Erica several times over the weekend and making a huge deal out of seeing her like it's been years or something.
-the trees above my back porch
-when my neighbor does not have all of his contracting buddies over all day long working on his house.
-Jamie and Nathan's wedding
-when Jamie tells me an MTW story I can relate to
-my brother's dog who licks the air when there's no one around to lick
-the missionaries I've helped over the years
-the last session with my client when we got to pray together for the first time
-fantasy football
-talking in a ghetto voice
-bible verses from 1 John

I'm sure there are more, but this is a good start to thoughts that I've got to keep on hand.

-

Walk to Mary Katherine's

I think I am adventurous, but maybe not in the normal way you would think of adventure. I'm not really up for bungee jumping, climbing mountains, driving fast cars, etc. But I do like to do find adventure in the everyday.

Yesterday I did this by walking to Mary Katherine's new apartment. Now some of you who read this blog have never been to my house, so I am hoping I can still make this blog relevant.

Mary Katherine (and in three weeks, Matt too) live about...oh..I don't know maybe 1-2 miles away from me on the Pleasantdale access road. It's been a gorgeous weekend here in Atlanta and by Sunday night I had squandered most of it by staying inside and studying and watching the US Open. So I had to get out and get some fresh air. I was going to walk through the neighborhoods, but then I remembered how close MK lived to me. I was already walking when I remembered this. I also wanted to walk for at least an hour. I didn't know exactly which apartment, or what number she lived in, or if she was home, and I'd have to walk on the access road, but I did know how to get there. I figured it would be about a 30 minute walk one way.

I think because of being overseas many times..or...something I don't think walking places is that dangerous. But at least in Atlanta, and especially on Plesantdale Road, it's natural to feel suspicious of walkers. I did see some shifty characters. But most of them where shorter than me, so that's good. By following one walker (at a safe distance), I learned of a shortcut so I wouldn't have to walk on the access road as much. Score.

In case you were wondering the outcome of the story, I found the apartment, but MK was not there. I did find her car, and did what any good friend would do, and put up her windshield wipers so she would be super confused when she came home. I did learn that next time I think I'm going to bike, which would help with the path I had to take through the weeds, and I'm going to call first.

My next adventure is to try the Korean barbeque place by Dave and Ami's house. Man I bet that is good!!!

Fall classes are a hit

I can't believe I'm saying this, but the easiest thing I have going on this semester is my classes. I just really like them, and I especially like my teachers. Even though my school is great and I'm very glad I ended up there, one expectation that can't be fulfilled every time is that I will love my teachers. In fact, I tend to be overly critical, which is unfortunate sometimes. I tend to let my feelings for the teacher dictate how motivated I am to really do well. Not always a good strategy.

One of the things I don't particularly like is doing prayer requests in class. I go to a Christian school, and some teachers feel that having group requests is important. I've had some teachers though (one in particular) where this has gone on for 30 minutes or so, and by then I'm starting to wonder if we're having class or if I'm just paying for the most expensive bible study ever. I have two teachers this semester that are doing prayer requests, but I actually like it. I think it's because they keep it really brief. I am very relieved.

I do have a research methods class this semester, which I've been d-r-e-a-d-i-n-g since my first day at school. I hate research and doing statistics, so the whole thing was just bound to be doomish. However, my teacher is great. He spent like 15 minutes the first day of class asking us about our fears and reasons why people dislike this class so much. He also does a great job going over everything really slowly so even I can understand it. Now it did take me over two hours to do the homework, and I still had to phone a friend. I feel pretty strongly though, that I will survive.

Followership

I've realized that within all the different areas of my life, I now answer to four different supervisors: one for my work for MTW, one for my outplacement site at MARR, one for my counseling site on Tuesday evenings at my school, and one for my group supervision class at school.

Somehow I hope I am becoming more humble.

I do know that I am working with some of the best counselors ever and I'm getting some pretty darn good advice.

And I love my MTW boss, who is so flexible with my crazy schedule and trusts me to plan and do my work well on my own. Gratefulness abounds to you McKenzie!!

I am, however, looking forward to May 10, which is when I gradate and hopefully will be employed with one, and only one, supervisor.

If MARR doesn't prepare me to be a counselor, I don't know what will..

I had two weeks off from school, work, and my internship in August. It was lovely, and much needed. The summer semester schedule really almost put me over the edge. But as my friend Christina always reminds me, you just have to get through it and then the summer of doom is done once and for all. When she was in the middle of hers last year, she ended up at Urgent Care one night, so I think I got by quite easily.

I started my internship at MARR again yesterday. I had been in touch with my supervisor (Leanne) over break, and so I knew going into the day that:
1) She had given MARR her two weeks notice, and I was only going to have like 3 days left with her.
2) Starting yesterday I was starting to lead my first weekly family dynamics group that will continue through next May.
3) I had been off for two weeks, and for patients at a treatment program, two weeks can bring a lot of doom, but also a lot of healing. It can go either way.

I was pleasantly surprised to find out that some of the patients not only noticed that I was gone but that they missed me. That really boosted my confidence! Several asked where I was and said they were glad I was back. However, I found out a couple of them had relapsed, which is always sad to here about.

I also got a crash course in being a group therapy leader. My supervisor was not able to help me as much with my group, so I picked the topic, prepared the questions myself, and ran the group completely on my own. And you know what, it went pretty smooth.

I'll also be following up with a lot of the patients families that my supervisor was following up with. They were trying to break me in, so two families to follow up with was a good caseload for me for now. Starting next week, that's going to jump to about 10 or so.

Yesterday I got there early and stayed late, being attentive to Leanne and learning as much as I could before she left, including getting to know the families she was working with, who will now become mine. To this beginning therapist, the responsibility is HUGE. I am sort of thankful for this forced responsibility. Now I don't have time to think if I feel ready to do something or not. I just have to try. I'm at MARR three days a week this semester, so tomorrow will be another day of whirlwind learning!

P.S. Leanne did find me another supervisor at MARR who will help me, so I'm not completely on my own =).

How to drink a Summer Shandy

My favorite beer is Leinenkugal's Honey Weiss. It's the best thing that's ever come out of Wisconsin. For some unknown reason, this beer has never made it to Georgia. Untillll....they unveiled Summer Shandy, a perfectly refreshing brewsky with a hint of lemonade. I found it a few weeks ago in the beer aisle at Kroger and somehow despite my surprise and amazement I managed to limit myself to only one pack.

I found out when I was in Minnesota over the past week that Summer Shandy is a summer beer only and is being phased out. Most of my fam was going Shandy-crazy and was totally stocking up in preparation. Luckily, my aunt Mary's friend Kathy got them a few cases, and they allowed me the pleasure of having one after Sam and I went horseback riding in 90 degree heat. It tasted sooo good. This beer is also amazing when paddleboating with your sister-in-law, trying to stay refreshed at your cousin Sean's surprise birthday party, and surviving getting pulled over by the boating police in your brother's unregistered pontoon boat.

All in all, I had an awesome, relaxing, and throughoutly enjoyable time in Minnesota!! I miss you guys already!!

Success in cooking

My cousin Simon frequently blogs about his culinary adventures. I actually got to see Simon and his wife Eve last week on their last leg of their trip to Georgia, and we made some brownies together. It was very fitting, because within such a small activity we both obtained some pretty significant blog content.

We were making the brownies at my cousin Rochelle's house. Rochelle is a tremendous cook, but she hates doing it. She has to do it because otherwise her three young kids would starve, but that's probably her only motivation. That night she made this amazing BBQ pork on the grill which you could pile high on a bun and enjoy to the max.

I, on the other hand, usually cook with much trepidation and fear. For a long time, I was a horrible cook. I didn't know how to measure things right or look for a good recipe. Plus I never really had a lot of opportunities to try. When you're single, primarily cooking for yourself, you're basically fine with eating a lot of the same meals over and over again.

However, since I bought my house I've been struck with this desire to cook. I got some good cookbooks as presents from sister-in-law and slowly took advantage of opportunities to make things. I was super careful with how I made it, asked for help when it was available, and picked really simple things so I would feel more successful. So far, it's been amazing. And I love it!

Probably the hardest thing I've made was Chocolate Indulgence Cheesecake for Nathan and Jamie's engagement party last Sunday (the pic is of all of Jamie's bridesmaids except her friend Laura who lived too far away to come). It called for things I never had to use before like coffee extract, which I never was able to find, but was able to use kahlua instead. I also had never made a cheesecake before. So it was quite a gamble. But the extra batter on the beaters tasted pretty good and so did my spoon sample of the kahlua topping, so I felt hopeful about the result. It ended up being a huge success with only once slice remaining on the plate at the end of the night! The best part was Nathan's mom sincerely begging me for the recipe, which was a first for me. And she's like a cook extraordinaire!! I felt really satisfied and my confidence level boosted like way up.

Here's a link to the recipe if you want to check it out! Oh yeah, and it was low-carb.

Life and Times of a Counseling Student

Since I'm assuming that most of you have not partaken in the blessing (and sometimes curse) of being a grad school counseling student, I thought I would share a typical activity that one sometimes finds themselves participating in, of course, under the guise of "learning."

One of the classes I'm taking this semester is called "Psych Appraisal" which is basically on all the personality, vocational, learning, psychological, neuropsychological, etc tests that are out there for people to take to learn more about themselves. The beauty of it is that at our level very few of us will ever be qualified enough to administer these tests. Plus the class is at 8am. You're getting the picture of what this is like.

Fortunately, my teacher is pretty darn cool. He tells us all these crazy stories from years of being in private practice and working in mental hospitals. Nobody can tell interesting stories about their careers like psychologists. Well, maybe my brother's career gets a close second. Anyway, recently my teacher brought in a bunch of the Rorschach Inkblots to show us how they work. Despite what you see on TV these things actually can predict personality pathology and have a real scoring system and everything. So he would show us blot after blot on the overhead, while we shouted out what we thought the pictures were. I think we were hoping somehow hoping to be confirmed that we weren't crazy. Or that we were.

Anyway it went like this.

Teacher puts Inkblot example on overhead.

Students yell:
"Bat"

"Cat"

"Ghost"

"Gerbil"

Teacher says:

"normal"

"normal"

"normal"

"probably normal. wait, did you see one gerbils or two? Two? That means narcissism. You must be really self-focused. Hahahaha..just kidding."

Another time he gave us a memory test by having us copy a complicated drawing from the overhead, then he turned the overhead off and made us copy it again. Then 30 min later after moving on and doing other class material he randomly told us to copy it again.

It really helps your ego a lot.

Another good singleness thought

I'm just pulling through with the encouragement to all us single folks out there!

"So now we end where we began with all this Scripture in our mind. God promises those of you who remain single in Christ blessings that are better than the blessings of marriage and children.

If someone asks, wouldn’t it be better to have both? The blessings of marriage and the blessings of heaven? There are two answers to that question. One is that you will find out someday, and better to learn it now, that the blessings of being with Christ in heaven, are so far superior to the blessings of being married and raising children and that asking this question will be like asking: Wouldn’t it be better to have the ocean and the thimble full? And the second answer is that marriage and singleness both present us with unique trials and unique opportunities for our sanctification. There will be unique rewards for each, and which is greater will not depend on whether you were married or single, but on how you responded to each." ~ John Piper

To see the full article with the context of this quote click here.

Good perspective on singleness

I found this blog not too long ago that's geared towards single women- it's the solo femininity blog link on the left side of my blog. I have sort of forgotten about it, but for some reason today (probably because of my convo with Jamie last night) I decided to check it out, and found this gem of an entry. Read it if you get a chance!

Song I've been reflecting on

We sang this song at church last sunday, and it was really great. I've been reflecting on it this week. It's called "Jesus Draw Me Ever Nearer". The second stanza is the chorus.

Jesus draw me ever nearer
As I labour through the storm.
You have called me to this passage,
and I'll follow, though I'm worn.

May this journey bring a blessing,
May I rise on wings of faith;
And at the end of my heart's testing,
With Your likeness let me wake.

Jesus guide me through the tempest;
Keep my spirit staid and sure.
When the midnight meets the morning,
Let me love You even more.

Let the treasures of the trial
Form within me as I go -
And at the end of this long passage,
Let me leave them at Your throne.

My new friend Mary

Unbeknownst to me, CFA celebrated it's 40th anniversary last Friday.

I found out randomly because I went to the CFA on Jimmy Carter last Friday a.m. at around 9:30 while my car was in the shop at Tires Plus. Fortunately it was only about a 10-15 minute walk, so I went while the experts were trying to figure out the most important thing for me to fix out of the list of things that could be, and probably were, wrong. But the car is 12 years old, so, that's what happens.

It makes me exceedingly happy to walk places. I feel like I'm overseas. Plus, I had never been to this particular CFA before on the inside, so, "neat" I thought as I walked through the door. That's when I found out about the anniversary. There were crazy amounts of balloons everywhere. I just wanted a chicken biscuit and coffee (they have great creamer there too) and to sit down and read something to pass the time. I brought a school book which I should have been reading, but when I sat down I spotted a whole AJC newspaper sitting on a nearby table. "Sweetness" I thought, grabbing the paper and starting to catch up on the local Hotlanta news.

I was halfway through an article about a female pastor that was recently installed at a Baptist church in Decatur, when an older woman, probably in her 70's, with a cow necklace called out "who took my paper?? Who took my paper??" Ohmygursh..for the love of pete I was reading her paper. "Ma'am I'm so sorry. I took your paper. I thought it was Chik-fil-a's!!," I admitted, shamefully, to the woman. She responded, which a grandmotherly, southern voice: "OH honey, don't you worry about it. I've got the sports section of Gwinnett county and that's all I really wanted. You keep it until you're done." Fortunately, I seemed to be out of hot water.

The funny thing was though...she kept talking to me. And it was, kind of, interesting. She was the one who told me about how she came here for the anniversary, and that's why she was wearing the cow (the symbol of CFA), and how everyone who worked there was so nice and how she worked out at Bally's down the street and isn't exercise so good for you? She left me alone at this point, which was probably good because I didn't want to get into my personal vendetta against Bally's. But soon I was done eating. And she noticed. Plus, my car wasn't done yet. And I sort of paused in my paper reading because I noticed I got a section a bit wet and I wondered what she would think. Next thing I know she says "honey, do you want to come sit over here and talk with me?" Hmmm..why not?

I probably sat with her for about 30 minutes. She was delighted to find out that I went to Berry for college, because one of her sons did, and Berry is indeed such a fine school, but yes, quite expensive now. We talked about her family, how her son was suddenly going to be deployed to Iraq and he had two daughters and a wife and they were devastated. She talked about her husband who had passed seven years earlier, her church, etc. It was really fun, actually. I felt like that guy in the Kleenex commercial who's out in public armed with a couch and kleenex, listening to everyone's life stories.

Finally, I did need to go and check on my car. When I told her this she said "I think God sometimes brings us such fine blessings. I know that you're outgoing and so am I. I can just tell. So this was such a blessing to me." It was hard to leave. I think she could have sat with me for another hour at least. Maybe. It's funny because really it was just the company I provided, which I guess, she needed.

I have no idea if I'll see Mary again. But it would definitely be a blessing.

There is more then one way to be happy

Last weekend I was one of the thousands of folks who attended a wedding on 07/07/07.

This particular wedding was for a friend of mine from my school. We've had a few classes together and have always enjoyed great discussions about the class and our own personal lives. The wedding was taking place at a church about 10 minutes from my house, and I went alone primarly because I am not dating anyone and also because I wasn't sure who else from my school would have been invited. I assumed I would know no one but the bride at the wedding.

In these types of situations it really bugs me to be single. What I mean is, the kind of situation where I'm attending something and it's implied that a date would be important. It's culturally awkward to go to a social function, not knowing hardly anyone, on your own. I was excited about the wedding but was sort of unsure of how the reception especially would go, which is when the "alone" part would come in more obviously.

As it turns out, the usher who led me down the aisle ended up dropping me off at a pew where I immediately saw Becky, a girl I do know from school who is awesome and very friendly. She also came alone. At the reception, we then spotted Cheryl from my school who also came alone and sat with us at a table. Not only did I not feel alone at this point with two other gals to talk to, but I was able to talk with Cheryl about short-term missions for a long while. Score. That's a pretty darn good reception right there!

Last Friday I also found out that my grandmother (mom's mom) had surgery to relieve some blockage in arteries in her neck. I was kind of anxious about it and prayed about it a lot. I'm fortunate to still have all four of my grandparents alive and one great-grandmother. My grandmother pulled through just fine, praise God! I called her yesterday to see how she was recovering. I had a nice chat with her, my grandpa, and granny (great-grandmother). I always enjoy the conversation with them, but inevitably two questions are usually brought up: "are you dating anyone?" and "when are you moving back to Minnesota?". I know it's their way of saying they love me and miss me.

All of this has reminded me of how much God provides for me in my singleness. I have so many friends, I have family that lives 30 minutes away in Marietta, I have family far away that loves me and emails and calls, and I have God who promises to never leave me or forsake me.

I would be lying if I said I wouldn't love to get flowers or a great free meal, or the company that a boyfriend or spouse would provide. But I don't feel like I am lacking companionship at all.

Happiness can be found in either, which is what I meant by saying, "there is more then one way to be happy."

Survived another Peactree Road Race!

The largest 10K in the country is located none other than in the city of Hotlanta! The Peachtree Road Race is "fun" for many folks each year on the 4th of July. I was in Kenya last summer so I unfortunately did not have to get up at 5:30am to run for 6.2 miles with 55,000 of my closest friends. So of course I had to do it in 2007!

These were the shirts that my friends and I made to run in. In years past we have featured Ken and Jeremy, and this year the center of attention was Jamie. It was a painful decision for some reason to come to a concensus on what the shirts should say. Finally we went with a Dwight Schrute quote which says "I am faster than 80% of all snakes." So our shirts said "Jamie is faster than 80% of all snakes." Yes, we got a lot of quizzical looks from folks. And a lot of questions. It was hilarious.

Laura ran and I ran/walked it in 1 1/2 hours, which was sweet. It was great to be greeted by our friends that has already finished and were patiently waiting at the AJC tent (thanks Ken!).

Although running does have it's elements of "fun" I have decided to hang up my shoes for a while. I'm taking up biking. I think I just need a change exercise activity. So I got a starer bike from Target and went for my first ride yesterday. I don't know why I thought it would be super easy. But in no way was it easy. I give props to all those bikers out there because it is intense! I'm going to stick it out though. My friend Angie informed me today at church that there's a 30 mile bike ride race in September that I could do with her.

I told her I've only been biking one day.

But....who knows. Looks like I'm never far from the next race.

John's email to us pre-Peachtree Road Race: the wisdom we needed

For anyone who is a little nervous about the Peachtree, I was digging through the archives of old Jeremy Ware emails and found something to help you out. If you're worried about not being the best one out there or not impressing the racing scouts, just remember this poster.

John

Fun pics from Gina's wedding on June 9th!

I couldn't get the captions to work so here's some descriptions of the pics!

1. This is me and my boss and good friend McKenzie who was the wedding coordinator. I've known her since college and now I work in her department!

2. This is me, Gina and Michelle at the rehearsal dinner. Michelle was a bridesmaid and Gina's good friend from childhood.

3. Dave and Gina- aren't they really really ridiculously good looking?

4. Carrell and me. This is a good time to remind everyone that this is the same dress I wore for my sister-in-law's wedding last September! Yes, I am way lucky.

5. Lots of us MTW folks that were there including three of the 6 bridesmaids and the bride!! I love working with them =).

It's 8:03 on a Friday night

Tonight I had to resign myself to do something really boring, as in reading for school and doing a take home final that had to be postmarked by tomorrow.

The reward for finishing my test and driving to the post office to ensure the needed June 30 postmark, was to stop by my favorite Mexican place, Mi Taco, for an awesome Chicken Quesadilla to-go. Hmmm..this blog is starting to sound a lot like my cousin Simon's, who always seems to report on food.

Anyway, I digress.

I was able to obtain the said quesadilla at around 8:03pm, which was when I got in the car to make my way home on Pleasantdale Rd as usual. I should mention here that the only reason I was driving was because I promised Jamie and Nathan I would. I really wanted to walk to Mi Taco because I like the exercise and I like that it makes me feel like I'm overseas to walk places. But it is a bit dangerous, as they pointed out, so I drove.

As I was getting in the car I thought I heard someone calling out in a really loud voice, but I couldn't make sense of the words and it didn't seem bad so I just got in the car and started driving home. As I got to the main corner by Mi Taco, there was about 20 teenagers standing on the corner in a big group. One guy had a megaphone, another girl had a small camcorder. The megaphone guy was shouting something about
believing in Jesus. Wow. Swell. I hadn't seen anything like that in years. I'm not sure how sincere they were considering the camcorder, etc. I had a burning desire to say something like "isn't there a better way to do this" as I was pretty close to them, but miraculously I withheld. I was really thankful for Nathan and Jamie's advice at this point.

When I got home I ate my quesadilla just as a terrific storm was brewing. So I picked up my book, settled in on the couch, and focused on finishing it by tonight. I should mention now that the book I had to read was for a class on the dynamics of suffering and God, and it was about sin and evil. Also, just as the storm got really intense, I started the chapter on exorcism. Good timing. Then the lights go out. Even better timing. The lights come back on and I search for candles just in case. Also, around this time I debate calling Jamie, but realize I will probably survive and I can always stop reading, right?? That's what she would tell me to do. Plus, I don't know what I would ask her to help me with. And I'm not sure if I could ask her to come home to sit with me while I finish the exorcism chapter. Unfortunately that chapter was the best read out of all of them, so I read the whole thing word for word.

But the storm died down. Nothing overly doomish has happened. Soxie came by for a pat. And Jamie will be home soon....so much for boring. Time for bed! We'll see how that goes. I think I'm going to read my Narnia book to counteract the effects.

The Twelve Steps

One of the things I've learned about since being at MARR has been the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. The patients are MARR work through them while they are there. They're meant to be done in order, with each one building upon the other. They're also meant to be worked more than once. When you're finished, typically you start over with the first step.

The steps draw an amazing parallel to the Christian life.

In fact, one Christian writer and theologian, Dallas Willard, modified the steps just a bit and wrote them out to create "The Twelve Steps of Christian Formation". If you know the original Twelve Steps, you'll see what I mean by parallel:

1. I admit that I am powerless over sin and that my life has become unmanageable.
2. I believe that God-through his actions and those of his son Jesus and the Holy Spirit-can restore me to sanity.
3. I will turn my will and my entire life ovver to the care of God.
4. I will make a searching and fearless inventory of my life to discover all the ways I have engaged in self-worship (by being in control instead of living surrendered to the will God).
5. I will admit to God, to myself, and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs.
6. I am entirely ready to have God remove all the defects in my character and replace them-through his presence-with the thoughts, emotions, will, behavior, and relationship patterns of Christ.
7. I humbly ask God to help me become willing to deny myself-and the desire to live life on my terms-and to remove my short-comings.
8. I will make a list of all the people I have harmed and become willing to make amends.
9. I will make direct amends to all I have injured.
10. I will continue to take personal inventory, and when I wrong someone, I will promptly admit it.
11. I will, through prayer, meditation, and the practice of other Christian disciplines, attempt to improve my conscious contact with God.
12. Having experienced some measure of authentic transformation as a result of surrendering all aspects of myself to the power and presence of Christ, I will carry this message to others and continue to practice these principles in all my affairs.

Loganville, GA

Loganville, as I found out last night, is approximately 45 minutes from Doraville, where I live. It's a straight shot on 78 East, past the big stone mountain, the car dealerships, South Gwinnett High School, a few new strip malls, and some fields. Both cities are, of course, considered to be "Atlanta".

I ventured deep into Gwinnett County after my Theodicy class because Gates and Melissa now live there and they invited me out to see the new pad. Melissa's sister Amy actually owns the house. She closed on it yesterday morning. I of course asked her if she was worried, now that the paperwork was signed, if a tornado would come or something would explode. Those were some major concerns of mine when I closed on my townhouse. But no, she was calm as a cucumber, obviously demonstrating much better psychological resistance.

It will be a bit of a change since we used to only live 15 minutes apart. But I remember thinking that was really far from our across-the-hall walk we used to do in the Morton-Lemley dorm at Berry. We survived.

Maybe it's preparing us for whatever's next. Actually, I'm the one always bringing up going overseas, for pete's sake. It's good to know that that we have a friendship that lasts the distance.

Especially if the free pizza, brownies, and cherry coke zero continues. Mmmm..that's a good Friday night meal.

CIT

Many times during the week I have to sign official forms at my internship sites with Jessica Ringsmuth, CIT (counselor-in-training). Someday I hope those will be replaced with the three different letters that show you're like graduated and competent.

I have been pretty rough on myself as a CIT. I really, really, want to be an expert right now. It's very hard being the "newby". I haven't done any sort of new job for a different company since 2001. Now I have two new "jobs" with my counseling internships. Although I love getting feedback from people, asking questions, and I don't think I act like a know-it-all, deep down inside I want to be confident and not make mistakes. I want my pride to stay intact and always say the most therapeutic thing at just the right time. Is that too much to ask??

Folks have helped me realize that my expectations of myself are much higher than probably my supervisor's or even my client's even. You would think that would help.

Humbling situations is what seems to help the most.

On Monday morning, for example, I normally sit in on three groups at MARR. Recently in the groups I've been trying to add in my two cents instead of just listening as a participant. This is the point of learning to counsel, right? I have to try to say something. So last Monday the group leaders and I were there and while we were still waiting for a few folks to get in, one of the guys asked a question about getting a particular massager for his back. He wanted one of those simple, four pronged wooden things that he could use on his own to knead out knots. I piper in and say "oh yeah, I know what you're talking about, the Mr. Happy's." I know this because I have one and it is indeed called a Mr. Happy, complete with a smiley face. Well, at an all-men's rehab facility, of course the idea of getting a Mr. Happy is nothing short of hilarious.

Consider me now humbled, CIT.

Gina's bachelorette party

Here are some fun pics from Gina's bachelorette party that was two weekends ago! She is getting married on Saturday. We met at MTW almost six years ago and have worked side by side in the internship department until I left to work from home last January. It's really neat how both of us got to be such good friends through an initial working relationship. After we had worked together for about two years our friend and former MTW intern Mary Bell was astonished to know that Gina and I worked together but didn't hang out much outside of that. I remember thinking that we worked together forty hours a week so you get to know a person quite well just with that. Now I can't imagine my life without her as a friend! And we do hang out outside of work.

The first pic is of us at South City Kitchen which is where we went for dinner. It was amazing. The second pic is of Gina (pink veil) and all of us bridesmaids

BTW- Gina was lucky and got off pretty easy as far as gifts goes for the party. I'm not sure if Jamie will be so fortunate at hers...

Maybe it won't be the summer of doom

I have been anticipating this summer to be quite doomish. Primarily this comes from having to take five classes, start my internship, and work part-time all within 2 1/2 months. However, this past week I started class and it went pretty well. I got the feeling that the professors understand that really none of us want to actually be in school during the summer, so my classes at least right now don't seem really difficult. I'm sure there will be a few moments though of "how-in-the-he__-will-I-get-this-all-done" but somehow I always get through it.

I am really looking forward to two of my classes, Christian Traditions and Theodicy. Christian Traditions is a class on church history but it's more on layman's terms then your typical hard core seminary class. I've been reading the main book right now and am learning all sorts of interesting things. Like did you know that Stephen was martyered eight years after Jesus was already crucified? I always thought it was like right after or something.

Theodicy is about the theology of suffering. Two out of the five books we have to read for that class are written by C.S. Lewis: "Grief Observed" and "The Problem of Pain". They will be my first non-Naria C.S. Lewis books books I have ever read. I already finished the first one, and could really relate to it. So I'm excited to read those and learn more about God's purposes for suffering.

I think the hardest part for me so far has been just being an actual counselor now. For example, I can see up to four clients on Tuesday nights at the Hope Counseling Center. I only have one right now, so I basically get all dressed up and go to my center to see her, do my paperwork, and come home. Then on Thursday nights I have supervision for that client and the others I will get. It's definitely not down to a routine yet, although going well. I think it still sounds weird to tell people that I'm going to see my client though.

My internship at MARR on Mondays and Wednesdays is still amazing. I'm learning a ton about the disease of addiction and I love the people there. It's a huge blessing. I still cannot believe that I'm working at a rehab place with men with additions, but clearly God knew something that I didn't because it's awesome.

They're not going to be able to come

MTW hosts a global missions conference biannually (that's every other year, for those of you that get confused) that takes place in Atlanta during a weekend in November. It's a pretty fargin' big deal. So big in fact that each MTW employee is assigned a group of churches to call that are affiliated with our denomination to personally invite folks to come.

None of us, I believe, really like making the calls, although obviously we believe in the conference and all that.

This year I had to call about thirty churches that were all located in Pennsylvania except for a random two that were in Maryland. The deadline to make the calls in next Friday, so not wanting to procrastinate to the max, I started making them today. Plus my boss sort of asked us in our meeting last Tuesday how the calls were going and I was the only one who hadn't started. Yeah, it's time.

So by 9:30am I was strolling along through my list and having some good conversations I might add with missions pastors, etc. I hit a slight bump in the road around 11:45 after I called the first of my two Maryland churches.

Once I got off the phone with the first one I realized that the second one had the same phone number as the first, but with the church attendance size listed as "0". I thought, hmmm, it's probably a new church plant affiliated with the first, and doesn't have a lot of regular attendees yet. I decided to call the first church back and ask. Here's how the conversation went:

"Faith Presbyterian Church" ~receptionist says.

~my time to shine. "Hi, this is Jessica again calling from MTW. Listen, I have a question. The next church on my list to call is listed as WIC Presbyterian and it has the same phone number as your church. Is it like a new church-plant or something?"

"Well, that church is affiliated with ours and we helped start it, but it's actually in a prison."

"A prison?"

"Yeah. We have a night worship service over there and members of our church attend and reach out to the inmates. It's grown into an actual church of it's own now."

"Wow. That's really cool."

"Yeah, it's been a really neat ministry."

"Hmmm...so....I'm guessing those folks are not going to be able to come to the MTW missions conference."

Cough/laughter. "No, probably not."

"Right. Ok, thanks!"

A great honor to be the maid of honor

On May 12, my very good friends Jamie and Nathan got engaged! It was an awesome surprise and Nathan did a great job with the ring and engagement plan. I found out about it at approximately 11:00am that Saturday. I was at home reading when Jamie called to ask me if I would be willing to buy a bridesmaid dress to wear sometime next January! I totally freaked out I was so stoked.

It's been really cool living with Jamie over the past five years and seeing hers and Nathan's friendship develop into a relationship, then love, and now they are getting married! We've all been friends for several years, so I am super lucky to have gotten to know Nathan a bit better through this and now to have him for a friend-in-law. It's still a bit surreal to me, and I'm not the one getting married. And I'm sure I'm going to learn a lot about wedding planning now, which is a good thing because I definitely lack some serious knowledge in that area.

Today Jamie and I went shopping down at Atlantic Station and she treated me to a sweet Cinnamon Dolce frappachino on our way back to the car. As we were walking she asked me if I would be willing to be her maid of honor. I've never done that before and I wasn't totally sure if I would the one to do this or not, so of course I was so excited, surprised and said yes!! This is starting to sound like my own engagement story =). But it's truly such a big honor for me. I'm going to need a refresher on the maid of honor duties, but I'm ready for the task!!

How fun is it that God has given me such a precious gift of friendship with Jamie. And now that gift is growing from just Jamie to now Jamie and Nathan.

Hmmm...now I wonder who Jamie's friend-in-law will someday be?

New home remedy

Everything I learned about taking care of Sox I got from the internet.

I recently experienced the second slightly major issue with having Sox, my cat. She has been throwing up a lot. Not only does this stain my carpet and it's pretty new, but yeah I hate cleaning it up!!

Last night I googled "cat throwing up" and found some site that recommended putting some butter on her paws which she would then complusively lick until completely off. I think the butter greases down her digestive track to help get rid of hairballs, which I'm pretty sure is the problem. After confirming this idea with a couple other sites, I went downstairs to find the butter. Normally my little grey shadow follows me around but not this time so in my best I-want-Sox-to-come special tone of voice I called for her up the stairs and she came right to her potential doom. I quickly dabbed some butter on her front paws which she HATED. She ran away from me and sort of alternated between running in zig zags around the house and licking it off. She stayed away from me for like 20 minutes.

The site said to do it once a day for a week and then once a week after that. So I did it again this morning but holding her in my arms this time so I could aim better. She was pretty darn ticked off. But this evening she was sitting next to me on the couch so I think all is well.

I have really grown to love having her around. She is so much like Wida, the cat our family had for years growing up. Super friendly, personable, fairly obediant, comes when I call her, etc.

But the throw up has got to go!!!

One of my favorite places

Is my deck.

I have a really, really ridiculously large deck. For a townhouse, at least. It was definitely one of the selling points of my house. I also live by a "lake" that features the cutest little ducklings this time of year. I really like the ducklings because they just waddle their cute selves around and don't make much of a racket or a mess. They've been perching on my shore for the past week with their parents.

Before our community group's goodbye dinner to the Seaton's last night, I gave some bread to Angie and Audrey Seaton and they were out feeding the ducks who were quite happy to oblige and scarf down the whole-wheat amazingness. After which our group partook of our own spagetti amazingness.

We wished the Seaton's farewell with a Nathan A. Smith collage original, which they loved so much they cried. It was sweet. We all signed the back too. It was hilarious because they were thinking it was going to be a huge picture of ourselves, but we thought a picture of downtown Atlanta would be much more sightly.

We're really, really going to miss them.

Time with family

Over the past month I've been able to spend some great time with my ATL fam, and one member of my NE fam! My cousin Andy came to visit about a month ago for the baby dedication of our cousin's kids Julia, Harrison, and Aaron. Their parents are my BFF cousins that live here in Atlanta. They had a really powerful worship service and an awesome reception which celebrated my cousin's commitment to raise their children with Christ as the center and to entrust them to the Lord. I included a few pictures from the exciting event!!

I also got to celebrate Aaron's first birthday last weekend with Natalie and Jeremy's family, their whole church (it's pretty small), my aunt and uncle, Rochelle and Stephen's family and a few others. It was a lot of 1-3 year olds in a small space, but it was all in honor of Aaron so that's ok. It's funny how hilarious first birthdays are, especially for second and third kids. Basically, the birthday boy gets to enjoy a large amount of sugar for the first time and stay up until like 9pm, while their older siblings desperately want to open the presents.

Natalie had chosen some vintage Minnesotan fare for dinner, such as brats and snickers salad, which really made me feel like I was on a Waite Park back porch, swatting misquitos, anticipating croquet right after dinner.