Celebrating a life with my family

Sometimes I get anxious thinking about what I'm going to miss once I move to Ethiopia. Of course there's a plethora of things that come to mind: someone dying, a dear friend getting married, maybe my brother and sister-in-law will be blessed with a child, other milestones like fun birthdays or holidays. I can't think about for too long or it overwhelms me. Part of the deal in this move is for me to accept emotionally that I won't be always be within a quick two hour flight or a 1-2 hour time difference in a phone call. Or be able to drive over to someone's house and hang out.

A lot of these thoughts went through my mind when my Grandpa Roger passed away in St. Paul, Minn on September 18. I didn't think I would be able to get over the regret if I couldn't make it up for the funeral. I don't have many opportunities like this left, and I really wanted to be with my family. Fortunately a dear friend volunteered some frequent flier miles and my job was gracious to allow me three days off so I could be there for the wake, funeral, and then to fly back to Atlanta the next day.

In the day or so heads up that I had to plan, many thoughts of dread entered my mind in thinking about this funeral. For one reason or another, I have never since attended a funeral after my mother passed away on August 8, 2002. So I've made it nine years, which almost makes it harder to then go ahead and break that cycle. I also had a feeling that my grandpa would be buried in the same cemetery as where my mother's ashes are (her body was cremated and remain in a Mausoleum in the cemetery). I've never been back to see her headstone. I think for some people, visiting the cemetery is very therapeutic, which is awesome. For me, I prefer not to go, but to rather rejoice when memory of hers comes up or when I read over the encouraging words she wrote in cards I still keep that she sent to me when I was in college. However, I had a feeling that in celebrating my grandpa's life (her father), I was open to reliving what happened to my mom. Therefore I was able to contribute to the funeral by reading a prayer when asked to do so, and then my brother, sister-in-law and I, along with a few other family members went over to see where my mom's ashes are after my grandpa's body was buried.

Throughout the time I was with my family in Minnesota, it was intriguing to me as a counselor and as a daughter, cousin, niece, and sister to see how each of us worked through my grandpa being gone now. There was a lot of laughter, tears, etc, but most importantly just a general feeling of solidarity and love. I think everyone seemed to feel the freedom to grieve and love in their own ways. When were at at my mom's gravesite, that was when I felt the most release, and was able to cry while listening others tell stories of their favorite memories of my mom. It was interesting too realizing that my littlier cousins do not know my mom, or were too young to remember her. We tried to help with that just a little bit through the stories :). The whole moment also turned into hilarity as my uncle tried to corral his two youngest kids back in the car, whom I think were about fed up with having to sit and be quiet for most of the morning, and in doing this he realized that they were about to get in the car holding flowers they got from somewhere. He was like.. "where did you get those flowers!?!?!" which my brother decided would make an perfect answer to the question of "What are the top ten things you should never have to say at a cemetery???" So awesome.

I know that it's a huge understatement to say that being thousands of miles away is going to be hard, but at the same time I am grateful for technology, mail, smoke signals, pigeons, in-person visits that will be on the horizon on this new journey and will allow me to remain in their lives. I so enjoyed being able to share this moment now with such amazing and inspiring people that I get to call my family.

I included two pictures: one of me with my cousins on my mom's side of the family (minus Kristy and Derek) at the post-life celebration BBQ and balloon release in honor of my grandpa at my aunt Sherrie's house. The other pic is an example of how I have to dress when I'm in Minnesota anytime after August 31.

Run For Recovery 5K & Nepali Momo

There's been plenty of other things going on besides support raising. This past Saturday was a full day just being a part of fun activities that comes with being a part of my different facets of life I've got going on here.

The day started with the Run for Recovery 5K up at Kennesaw State University which is in the northwest suburbs of Atlanta. KSU has a collegiate recovery center which serves college students who are in recovery from drug & alcohol addiction, in addition to helping with addiction prevention. My friend Teresa (pictured here) actually started the center, and it's been a huge success for the students that have been served here. It was fun to be up there with the MARR booth and supporting such a great cause.

Later that afternoon my very good friends Nathan & Jamie celebrated their daughter's first birthday which was so super fun. If you're friends with either of them on facebook you can see their incredibly cute pics from the party. It is so great to experience these milestones with friends I knew before they even met each other! God is so good for me to have relationships like this.

This past week also marked our new church's Nepali emphasis Sunday, which was held coincidentally on 9/11. Our church is strategically placed close to the Clarkston area of Atlanta, which is the most diverse city in all of the U.S., and is where most of the refugees coming to Atlanta are placed, many of whom are Nepali. Part of how I helped with the service was to make Nepali momos (see pic) with my friend Anna, who is Indian, but has also lived in Nepal. Basically if you've ever had a Chinese dumpling, you're getting the point of this dish. The hard part was trying to get the folds right, which was supposed to look like ruffles. Ours often looked like anyone else but that. It was super fun though! Apparently 117 Nepali came to the service, including almost 50 people who were of Hindu or Buddhist background, and several of these were interested in Christianity. We had a great Nepali meal afterwards so we could mingle with everyone and the momos were awesome!!!

What support raising is like

"Hi [so and so} this is Jessica. Hey there! How's it going? I was just calling because I'm following up with you since I sent you my initial support team letter a few weeks ago. Did you happen to receive it?

"Yes, we did get that. It's a really cool thing what you're doing"

"Awesome. Well, I'm trying to meet with everyone who got one of my letters so that I can explain more about my ministry in Ethiopia, and also to see if you might be interested in being one of my financial team partners, or partner in another way for this ministry. When might you be available to meet?"

And so on. And so on. And so on. I'm not exactly sure how many official support appointments I've done either in person or over the phone, but it seems like it's been a lot!

This support raising journey so far as been an interesting one. In starting out doing this back in mid-March of this year, I left my Interview and Orientation week well trained and feeling nervous about going about it. But it's one of those things you have to just do in spite of how you might be feeling. My first support appointment was with my friends Dave and Ami, who true to form had me over for an excellent dinner and over wine afterwards they listened intently as I did my support talk (with a lot of do-overs) and asked some really good intriguing questions. Now I have what I'm going to say more or less perfected, but I still get little butterflies when I meet with people.

What I didn't really expect is how much pressure I tend to put on myself to say the exact right thing to potential supporters, thinking that if I don't, somehow they won't support me. What the reality ends up being is that people seem to really care about me, and once they hear the basics of what I'm going to be doing, they seem generally excited to support me. I have no idea why this is a surprise to me. I guess I doubt a lot my ability to explain what I'm going to be doing or to connect with people, but that's probably a lie I'm believing because I seem to be able to usually connect with anyone, and next thing you know I'm recruiting a friend who's a nurse practitioner and has never been on a missions trip to come over to Ethiopia to be on one of our short-term teams and asking her if she wants to support me.

I do think I've learned three things thus far in this journey. First off, people like to have a relationship with you. I think they really like that I want to meet with them personally, and that I put the time into genuinely catching up with them and asking them what's going on in their lives. I think they like my project video, and they like that I try to think of ways as to why they would want to support it. I think they like asking whatever questions they want, even if I don't know the answers. Plus, I think generally most people can't leave their jobs and families and do something like this, so it gives them a neat way to make a difference in another country and have their kids learn about missions, and now they know a missionary personally.

B)- I've learned that people need to be challenged to give money away to something. I think at least in American culture, for me to be clear that I will at some point ask them to support me financially, and that I do ask in the most clear and direct way I can, really helps. I don't think I'm pushy with it, but I usually just say something like "would you be willing to be a part of my team in a financial way" and they usually say they have to think about it. I've also had people say "no" but they still want to be involved. Awesome, I think! It seems like people have a lot of ways they could spend their money, and an up front "ask" lets them know that you think their money is well spent invested in your project, and you care enough to ask them directly.

C) the actual result of these appointments is 100% up to God. Just like if you're talking to someone about your faith in Christ and why you are a Christian, you can ask them if they're interested in learning how to believe this for themselves, and they can either say yes or no. But unless you actually ask, you don't really know what they are thinking. What happens later is God's business. I do ask people if I can follow up with them if they say they will think about it, and most everyone is grateful that I will because aren't we all busy and forget sometimes? So I do A LOT of following-up. But isn't that how God is with us? He is constantly calling us back to him, reminding us of His presence and truth, and shepherding us in the way we should go.

Overall, this part of my journey has been really encouraging. I've left support appointments more often then not feeling so grateful that I am "forced" to actually go and build ministry partners. With each appointment so many people pray for me, make me a really nice meal, and talk with me about my excitement for Ethiopia. Not everything about this is always awesome, and I'm sure I will write a blog about the not-so-awesome parts about it someday, but wow, it really is such a neat, neat, thing.

Oh, and if you're reading this, and want to support me, let me know, I'll meet with ya and tell you allll about it! :)