He delights to take over our small worries

With my dear friend Amy now living in her new home, it’s the weekends that seem to be hardest for me. Probably because of all of the unstructured time, I miss how we would just spontaneously go exercise or watch something or talk or whatever. Last week I was really dreading the weekend. I definitely had things to do and stuff scheduled, but especially on Sunday I wasn’t sure how I would feel just being at home during my down time. Thinking through how many friends I have and how blessed I am in that, my instinct was to call people and just pack the whole weekend in with stuff to do. However, when I thought about that I realized that God might be giving me a gift in this down time with less distractions to trust Him to prioritize my time and just be patient to see what happened. I decided not to make concrete plans and kept praying for God to show me how to use my time.

Mid- week of last week (around Wed, Nov 30 probably), I got a call from the youth director of one of my supporting churches, Intown Community. He was looking for a speaker for Sunday because they were in between series and needed a guest speaker and wanted to know if I would come and talk about Ethiopia. How cool- I definitely was free and agreed to do it. Between going to that and then staying for the Sunday morning service, I had that morning time now taken care of. Ok awesome. So the rest of the week went by. Saturday I helped celebrate with Amy and probably about 40-50 people (including so many fun kids!) who came by for her housewarming party. What a gift to see people willing to celebrate this journey with her and her house looked so fantastic. I was pretty exhausted by the end, but in a good way. Sunday morning came and I went and gave my talk about my Ethiopia ministry, sharing too about how I got into the counseling field primarily because of the counseling I received after my mother’s death, and how God worked to lead me into that career. After it was over, the youth director told me that a member of their group recently lost their mom to cancer, and he appreciated me sharing that part of my life with them. I actually hadn’t planned on sharing about that at all but it just came out. Clearly God had a plan for that! After my talk I went to church and got to sit by my awesome friends the McNay’s and just a few seats down from the Joiner’s who are also awesome. I hadn’t been to Intown in a while and it felt like being back at home. After church I felt pretty tired and wanted a little down time, so I went home. Huh. Maybe this free time was a good thing just to rest!!! Just as I was ready to make a decision about doing something else, I got a txt from a friend who needed some emotional support. I went to her house. While there I got a call from my Ethiopia teammates who are in the U.S. on furlough, Michael and Emily Treadwell, saying that they were on their way through Atlanta and wanted to know if I wanted to go to dinner with them.

You’re catching my drift. It’s times like this when it’s so evident of God’s hand and guidance. I just have to be willing to listen and be available to His leading. It’s just so hard not to take control. I couldn’t believe how I actually felt pretty anxious in the days prior to the weekend, and God just worked it all out. He delights to take over our small worries!

Thomas Merton quote

MY LORD GOD,
I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

~Thomas Merton, "Thoughts in Solitude"

Happy World AIDS Day

My friend Sara-Beth put a great video on her facebook page today for World AIDS Day that I wanted to share with all of you here. It does a great job explaining what HIV/AIDS is and how it's spread. It also magnifies an important point, that many children are unnecessarily overlooked for adoption who are HIV+, because of the stigma and ignorance about this virus. Truthfully I still have a long way to go in my understanding of this virus, but I think information like this is helping to get the truth out about people with HIV and those who seek to love them, as Jesus loved us.

Also, could you share a quick prayer for Sara-Beth and her family? They've been waiting to adopt two boys from Ethiopia for a really long time, and they're hopeful to get some good news on the process any day now. You can check out their blog for more info about it. Her family is also with MTW, and they are in the process of raising support to serve as missionaries in Southeast Asia.

The way the house looks now

Sigh. It's finally started- the beginning of many changes leading up to leaving for Ethiopia.

Yesterday my roommate officially moved out and into her new beautiful townhouse that she closed on a few weeks ago. I've been helping her here and there to get ready and am really excited for her in this journey.

After the movers came yesterday, I sat down and looked around (see pics) and was like "whoa...it's begun and it's for real." She and I have been roommates for almost four years, and in the process she has become one of my closest friends. I've loved coming home and having someone to talk to and go places with spontaneously and yes, carpooling together. It's interesting how two people who seem really different on the outside could become exactly what each other needed to grow and change into how God was making us during this time. We knew that this aspect of our friendship would change. It's just that you can't prepare yourself fully for how you're going to feel once it's there.

I know I will get used to living by myself. But for now, I feel like it's me and Sox and it's mighty quiet 'round here.

MARR Banquet

One of the things I love most about working at MARR is the fact that they are all about giving back to others, which is a hard thing in a tough economy when we still need to pay the bills and provide services that keep alcoholics sober. Even though comparatively to other residential treatment centers of our caliber our costs to clients and families are much lower, it’s still quite a sacrifice for many. However, several times throughout the year we have events that allow us to raise money for our scholarship fund, which gives partial scholarships out to new clients who qualify. For many patients, it’s the lifesaving tool that allows them access to a facility such as ours. I am so proud to be able to have donated to this along with a bunch of other employees and alumni clients and their families.

In November of each year, MARR hosts their annual banquet which raises a bulk of the funds we use for the following year’s scholarships. Usually all the employees and their families come and it’s a ton of fun. Occasionally I get tired of having to go to events like this by myself, so I found myself a hot date in my cousin Rochelle who accompanied me (see picture for our combined immense hotness). I chose Rochelle as she is an excellent mingler and she is all about learning about things like addictions. We got ready for the event at her house and said goodbye to Stephen and the kids before we went. The kids were speechless when we saw us- either because our hotness or technically….it could have been the Papa John’s favorite special with bacon pizza that they were enjoying.

We had a great time! Rochelle was super sweet in that she said it meant a lot to her to get to meet the people I work with and get to see more of what I do every day. Basically the banquet consists of a nice meal, a recovery-related speaker, and then a few other awards and announcements are made. I saw a lot of former clients too which is always awesome because we never really totally know what happens after they leave. There were about 600 people there which is low. Most of the time we get about 800-1000 people that come, but we actually ended up raising more money this year than we ever have before. It was awesome!!! It’s cool to see God answer prayers in a tangible way like that for us.

In the three years I have worked at MARR, I personally know of three clients that have died from issues directly related to their addiction. Most of my coworkers who have been around longer know many, many more. I felt like in that moment, we were doing a small thing to celebrate those that are in recovery and to make a difference for the next person so they can experience the miracle for themselves.

I'll include here one of my favorite prayers that I've learned since being around at MARR. It was written by St. Francis, and used in AA rooms in conjunction with Step 11:

Lord, make me a channel of thy peace,
that where there is hatred, I may bring love;
that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;
that where there is discord, I may bring harmony;
that where there is error, I may bring truth;
that where there is doubt, I may bring faith;
that where there is despair, I may bring hope;
that where there are shadows, I may bring light;
that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.

Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted;
to understand, than to be understood;
to love, than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life.

So you are trying to get sober with AA

Thank you to Tommy for this window into the world of substance abuse treatment and in particular, how AA works:

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/12653877/is-nitrus-oxide-sober

What I'm learning about AIDS

I have a feeling that instead of constantly defending and explaining and educating people about the disease of addiction, my focus is about to change to the HIV/AIDS virus.

Right now I'm sitting in my living room watching an ESPN interview on SportsCenter with Magic Johnson. Today is the 20th anniversary of his announcement that he was retiring from the NBA because he has tested positive for HIV. Apparently part of the reason he retired was because other NBA players like Karl Malone publicly stated they would not play on the court with him out of fear they would contract the virus. Magic discussed how at the time many people were uneducated about how the disease was contracted including himself, and that even though the chances were impossible that they would contract it from regular basketball play, he felt it was the best decision to retire. He said he harbors no ill will at all against other players who were fearful and now he dedicates his time to his foundation which helps educate people about HIV/AIDS.

I am still extremely new in my understanding about how this disease works. However, one of the best books I've read about this subject, particularly describing the AIDS epdemmic in Africa, is a booked called "The Invisible Cure" by Helen Epstein. I'm not entirely finished with the book so far, but it goes through the reasons for why AIDS has spread faster in Africa, and how people contract HIV and how it develops into AIDS.

The other day I was at work and a client asked me if it was true I was moving to Africa to work with HIV+ people and I said "yes." He said "well you really need to be careful over there because I had a friend who played soccer barefoot while he was in Africa and he got AIDS after stepping on a piece of bloody glass." Wow. There is so many ways you could go with that statement but I just said "that's actually virtually impossible, if not entirely possible to happen. Plus why would I play a sport period without shoes? I wouldn't do that in the states." Honestly it was so ludicrous I had to do one of those laughs but-faked-it-as-a-cough sort of things. So here's to reading, learning, and educating myself and anyone else who dares to care about this important issue!

Saying Goodbye to Clients

Well, it's out. I think everyone knows at work including staff, alumni, current clients, families, and maybe even future clients that I am leaving MARR, my employer for the past three years, on December 16. I've never left a counseling job before, outside of being laid off from Talbott. But since I was only there for three months and I didn't really have a heads up about it, I wasn't able to emotionally prepare myself or my clients for my leaving.

This time, I've been relying on advice from my supervisor about how to say goodbye to some of my current clients. For the most part, I only work with my clients and their families for the three months they are at MARR, and mostly that work is over the phone because the families oftentimes do not live in Atlanta or are not available or willing to do family sessions in person. However, some clients and their families that live locally do sign up for aftercare counseling which means they can schedule sessions to come in an see me for therapy even after they complete their treatment at MARR. I have a small handful of clients in this category and they are probably the hardest ones to say goodbye to or to "terminate" with as we say in the counseling world because we've had this relationship for a long time.

I have been pretty open with people about my own experience in therapy, and I know from a client's perspective how attached you can get to your therapist. This is always interesting to me considering usually you don't know the therapist personally, and you spend a limited amount of time with them. However, the topics I've shared with my therapist have been so near to my heart, such as the grief over losing my mom, struggling with friendships and family dynamics changing, questions about where God is leading me in life, and the waves of discontentment that that come with trying to trust God's plan for my continued singlesness, it's difficult to say the least to have to say goodbye to the person who helped you all the way. I believe that the way the therapist guides the termination process can be just as critical as anything we do. We discuss this in counseling school a lot about how to go about this transition. As a client, I had the option to come back and see my counselor at anytime, so that was comforting. Unfortunately, as a counselor, my clients will not have that option because I am moving to Africa.

My supervisor and I have come up with some ideas of how to transition them, so I feel good about a plan for them. It's been neat for me to reflect too on my feelings of sadness of these counseling relationships ending. I think you never know until you experience the power of counseling, and it's neat that I can see it from both sides, that God does something sacred in these sessions. I'd love to be able to see how God will finish writing their stories. But it's another opportunity to be reminded that it was God's work all along, and I have to trust in Him to carry them.

The Power of Soda

Maybe it's because I work at a Men's counseling center, or maybe it's because I never really grabbed on to much of feminist thought, but I think this new commercial is hilarious. Also if you've ever read "Wild at Heart" by John Eldridge, I think this is probably what he was talking about in terms of how men love adventure.

Additionally, I tried this soda just to see if something would happen. I kid you not moments later I was chopping down trees and pushing a van out of a ditch. So that give you some empirical evidence right there of the power of soda. Right, Simon?

Everything's Amazing But Nobody's Happy

A hilarious summary of our battle with entitlement that I believe we all suffer from here in America and maybe in the West in general.

What is a Missionary?

From today's reading in "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswold Chambers. It spoke to me:

"Jesus said to them again, ’. . . As the Father has sent Me, I also send you’ "

—John 20:21

A missionary is someone sent by Jesus Christ just as He was sent by God. The great controlling factor is not the needs of people, but the command of Jesus. The source of our inspiration in our service for God is behind us, not ahead of us. The tendency today is to put the inspiration out in front— to sweep everything together in front of us and make it conform to our definition of success. But in the New Testament the inspiration is put behind us, and is the Lord Jesus Himself. The goal is to be true to Him— to carry out His plans.

Personal attachment to the Lord Jesus and to His perspective is the one thing that must not be overlooked. In missionary work the great danger is that God’s call will be replaced by the needs of the people, to the point that human sympathy for those needs will absolutely overwhelm the meaning of being sent by Jesus. The needs are so enormous, and the conditions so difficult, that every power of the mind falters and fails. We tend to forget that the one great reason underneath all missionary work is not primarily the elevation of the people, their education, nor their needs, but is first and foremost the command of Jesus Christ— “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations . . .” (Matthew 28:19).

When looking back on the lives of men and women of God, the tendency is to say, “What wonderfully keen and intelligent wisdom they had, and how perfectly they understood all that God wanted!” But the keen and intelligent mind behind them was the mind of God, not human wisdom at all. We give credit to human wisdom when we should give credit to the divine guidance of God being exhibited through childlike people who were “foolish” enough to trust God’s wisdom and His supernatural equipment.

Celebrating a life with my family

Sometimes I get anxious thinking about what I'm going to miss once I move to Ethiopia. Of course there's a plethora of things that come to mind: someone dying, a dear friend getting married, maybe my brother and sister-in-law will be blessed with a child, other milestones like fun birthdays or holidays. I can't think about for too long or it overwhelms me. Part of the deal in this move is for me to accept emotionally that I won't be always be within a quick two hour flight or a 1-2 hour time difference in a phone call. Or be able to drive over to someone's house and hang out.

A lot of these thoughts went through my mind when my Grandpa Roger passed away in St. Paul, Minn on September 18. I didn't think I would be able to get over the regret if I couldn't make it up for the funeral. I don't have many opportunities like this left, and I really wanted to be with my family. Fortunately a dear friend volunteered some frequent flier miles and my job was gracious to allow me three days off so I could be there for the wake, funeral, and then to fly back to Atlanta the next day.

In the day or so heads up that I had to plan, many thoughts of dread entered my mind in thinking about this funeral. For one reason or another, I have never since attended a funeral after my mother passed away on August 8, 2002. So I've made it nine years, which almost makes it harder to then go ahead and break that cycle. I also had a feeling that my grandpa would be buried in the same cemetery as where my mother's ashes are (her body was cremated and remain in a Mausoleum in the cemetery). I've never been back to see her headstone. I think for some people, visiting the cemetery is very therapeutic, which is awesome. For me, I prefer not to go, but to rather rejoice when memory of hers comes up or when I read over the encouraging words she wrote in cards I still keep that she sent to me when I was in college. However, I had a feeling that in celebrating my grandpa's life (her father), I was open to reliving what happened to my mom. Therefore I was able to contribute to the funeral by reading a prayer when asked to do so, and then my brother, sister-in-law and I, along with a few other family members went over to see where my mom's ashes are after my grandpa's body was buried.

Throughout the time I was with my family in Minnesota, it was intriguing to me as a counselor and as a daughter, cousin, niece, and sister to see how each of us worked through my grandpa being gone now. There was a lot of laughter, tears, etc, but most importantly just a general feeling of solidarity and love. I think everyone seemed to feel the freedom to grieve and love in their own ways. When were at at my mom's gravesite, that was when I felt the most release, and was able to cry while listening others tell stories of their favorite memories of my mom. It was interesting too realizing that my littlier cousins do not know my mom, or were too young to remember her. We tried to help with that just a little bit through the stories :). The whole moment also turned into hilarity as my uncle tried to corral his two youngest kids back in the car, whom I think were about fed up with having to sit and be quiet for most of the morning, and in doing this he realized that they were about to get in the car holding flowers they got from somewhere. He was like.. "where did you get those flowers!?!?!" which my brother decided would make an perfect answer to the question of "What are the top ten things you should never have to say at a cemetery???" So awesome.

I know that it's a huge understatement to say that being thousands of miles away is going to be hard, but at the same time I am grateful for technology, mail, smoke signals, pigeons, in-person visits that will be on the horizon on this new journey and will allow me to remain in their lives. I so enjoyed being able to share this moment now with such amazing and inspiring people that I get to call my family.

I included two pictures: one of me with my cousins on my mom's side of the family (minus Kristy and Derek) at the post-life celebration BBQ and balloon release in honor of my grandpa at my aunt Sherrie's house. The other pic is an example of how I have to dress when I'm in Minnesota anytime after August 31.

Run For Recovery 5K & Nepali Momo

There's been plenty of other things going on besides support raising. This past Saturday was a full day just being a part of fun activities that comes with being a part of my different facets of life I've got going on here.

The day started with the Run for Recovery 5K up at Kennesaw State University which is in the northwest suburbs of Atlanta. KSU has a collegiate recovery center which serves college students who are in recovery from drug & alcohol addiction, in addition to helping with addiction prevention. My friend Teresa (pictured here) actually started the center, and it's been a huge success for the students that have been served here. It was fun to be up there with the MARR booth and supporting such a great cause.

Later that afternoon my very good friends Nathan & Jamie celebrated their daughter's first birthday which was so super fun. If you're friends with either of them on facebook you can see their incredibly cute pics from the party. It is so great to experience these milestones with friends I knew before they even met each other! God is so good for me to have relationships like this.

This past week also marked our new church's Nepali emphasis Sunday, which was held coincidentally on 9/11. Our church is strategically placed close to the Clarkston area of Atlanta, which is the most diverse city in all of the U.S., and is where most of the refugees coming to Atlanta are placed, many of whom are Nepali. Part of how I helped with the service was to make Nepali momos (see pic) with my friend Anna, who is Indian, but has also lived in Nepal. Basically if you've ever had a Chinese dumpling, you're getting the point of this dish. The hard part was trying to get the folds right, which was supposed to look like ruffles. Ours often looked like anyone else but that. It was super fun though! Apparently 117 Nepali came to the service, including almost 50 people who were of Hindu or Buddhist background, and several of these were interested in Christianity. We had a great Nepali meal afterwards so we could mingle with everyone and the momos were awesome!!!

What support raising is like

"Hi [so and so} this is Jessica. Hey there! How's it going? I was just calling because I'm following up with you since I sent you my initial support team letter a few weeks ago. Did you happen to receive it?

"Yes, we did get that. It's a really cool thing what you're doing"

"Awesome. Well, I'm trying to meet with everyone who got one of my letters so that I can explain more about my ministry in Ethiopia, and also to see if you might be interested in being one of my financial team partners, or partner in another way for this ministry. When might you be available to meet?"

And so on. And so on. And so on. I'm not exactly sure how many official support appointments I've done either in person or over the phone, but it seems like it's been a lot!

This support raising journey so far as been an interesting one. In starting out doing this back in mid-March of this year, I left my Interview and Orientation week well trained and feeling nervous about going about it. But it's one of those things you have to just do in spite of how you might be feeling. My first support appointment was with my friends Dave and Ami, who true to form had me over for an excellent dinner and over wine afterwards they listened intently as I did my support talk (with a lot of do-overs) and asked some really good intriguing questions. Now I have what I'm going to say more or less perfected, but I still get little butterflies when I meet with people.

What I didn't really expect is how much pressure I tend to put on myself to say the exact right thing to potential supporters, thinking that if I don't, somehow they won't support me. What the reality ends up being is that people seem to really care about me, and once they hear the basics of what I'm going to be doing, they seem generally excited to support me. I have no idea why this is a surprise to me. I guess I doubt a lot my ability to explain what I'm going to be doing or to connect with people, but that's probably a lie I'm believing because I seem to be able to usually connect with anyone, and next thing you know I'm recruiting a friend who's a nurse practitioner and has never been on a missions trip to come over to Ethiopia to be on one of our short-term teams and asking her if she wants to support me.

I do think I've learned three things thus far in this journey. First off, people like to have a relationship with you. I think they really like that I want to meet with them personally, and that I put the time into genuinely catching up with them and asking them what's going on in their lives. I think they like my project video, and they like that I try to think of ways as to why they would want to support it. I think they like asking whatever questions they want, even if I don't know the answers. Plus, I think generally most people can't leave their jobs and families and do something like this, so it gives them a neat way to make a difference in another country and have their kids learn about missions, and now they know a missionary personally.

B)- I've learned that people need to be challenged to give money away to something. I think at least in American culture, for me to be clear that I will at some point ask them to support me financially, and that I do ask in the most clear and direct way I can, really helps. I don't think I'm pushy with it, but I usually just say something like "would you be willing to be a part of my team in a financial way" and they usually say they have to think about it. I've also had people say "no" but they still want to be involved. Awesome, I think! It seems like people have a lot of ways they could spend their money, and an up front "ask" lets them know that you think their money is well spent invested in your project, and you care enough to ask them directly.

C) the actual result of these appointments is 100% up to God. Just like if you're talking to someone about your faith in Christ and why you are a Christian, you can ask them if they're interested in learning how to believe this for themselves, and they can either say yes or no. But unless you actually ask, you don't really know what they are thinking. What happens later is God's business. I do ask people if I can follow up with them if they say they will think about it, and most everyone is grateful that I will because aren't we all busy and forget sometimes? So I do A LOT of following-up. But isn't that how God is with us? He is constantly calling us back to him, reminding us of His presence and truth, and shepherding us in the way we should go.

Overall, this part of my journey has been really encouraging. I've left support appointments more often then not feeling so grateful that I am "forced" to actually go and build ministry partners. With each appointment so many people pray for me, make me a really nice meal, and talk with me about my excitement for Ethiopia. Not everything about this is always awesome, and I'm sure I will write a blog about the not-so-awesome parts about it someday, but wow, it really is such a neat, neat, thing.

Oh, and if you're reading this, and want to support me, let me know, I'll meet with ya and tell you allll about it! :)

My Grandpa and visit with the fam

On Thursday, July 28 I got the call that my Grandpa Rausch was critically ill; very reticent of the call I got almost exactly nine years ago when my mother’s health was rapidly deteriorating. That call came while I was leaving a wedding reception, and it was from my aunt Mary saying to pack my things and come to Minnesota to see her for what would be the last time.

This time I was playing trivia and finishing dinner with some dear friends of mine who have been part of my life since moving to Atlanta after college. My brother was the one who called, and I thought maybe he was just checking in about my upcoming visit to Minnesota which was scheduled for August 6. He ended up telling me that my grandpa has stage 4 non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, and also some sort of kidney failure. He and my grandma would have to work out how to proceed with his treatment. Eventually I got a hold of another aunt, who said it was ok to wait and see how my Grandpa was doing, but to pray fervently. I was afraid something would happen to him before I made it home on August 6.

Last week I actually was able to not only visit him three times, but also get to see a large amount of both my mother’s and father’s extended family, while working in some hard core volleyball, tennis, time by the bonfire (no plastics!!!!!!!), boat rides, fishing, ice cream and pizza eating, movie watching, and everything awesome that goes into spending time with such awesome folks.

I was extremely grateful that my grandpa was doing well enough to be able to have visitors. Talking to him felt very normal. I think visiting him in the hospital and being in the hospital environment, made me feel right back to where my mom was nine years ago. It was very weird to me too that all of this was happening at the same time it happened to her, and I think all of us affected by both of these things were cognizant of it, but just had to persevere to continue to encourage grandpa.

Attached here are pictures from the people I saw in the past week. One is of my grandpa and my grandma taken at their 60th wedding anniversary in May. Amazingly enough, I still have all four grandparents alive, and a 99 year old great-grandmother. The other pictures are of my family at breakfast at Chucky’s Chicken by Cass Lake, MN which was where my dad’s family rents out part of a resort every year. We had a great time being entertained by my dad who talked to every railroader and every person for that matter who walked by and looked remotely interested, including a man named Guy Foster whom he took a picture of, who wheeled by because he was in a wheelchair. Guy used to drive stock cars for a living, but we thought he was saying he sold ski equipment. The last picture is of me with all the firewood my dad was picking up for the bonfire fire. He did this daily for the camp, because obviously, there’s never too much wood or other things (no plastics!!!!!!!!!) to burn!!

Why do this

Last week I travelled to Minnesota to visit family and have a break from work and my normal life. Because I live so far away, it's always a time to reconnect and catch up with as many people as I can (I have about 46 first cousins, and numerous aunts and uncles, so it's impossible to really talk to everyone). One of the catch up questions that I was repeatedly asked is to explain why I'm going to Ethiopia and what I'm going to be doing there. Everyone was so genuinely curious, and I forget a lot of times how strange it is to move to Africa for two years while you're in your early 30's, unmarried, own a home, and seemingly in the middle of a completely different career. Of course in my mind, it makes complete sense.

One of the things that I hoped I conveyed to people when they asked, is that I have had a deep desire to live in another country, doing full-time ministry, for long time. It's a desire that for a long while I thought would go away, that would never really be affirmed, especially when I had opportunities to pursue going much earlier then this, but then God would close those doors and lead me elsewhere. Especially too as I got older, started a job in the addictions field, got involved in a great new church-plant, etc it didn't seem to make sense how something like this Ethiopia ministry would ever come about. However, as I prayed and sought wisdom from God and others and as I remained single despite any efforts in my own control to be otherwise, I finally acknowledged that the missions desire was still there, and that miraculously it seemed to be growing. The good thing about being single too is that the choice could be between God and me, which does make that simpler in some ways. Do I wish I could be married, have an opportunity to have children, and minister as a wife and maybe a mom either in the US or overseas someday? Of course. If I was honest about it, this is my greatest desire, and sometimes unfortunately more so then my desire to please God. But God always gently reminds me that I can't be outside of His will if I continuously find my way back to seeking His, and surrender to Him when I'm not, and to want to be with Him ultimately no matter what my heart longs for on this earth.

The other thing that was on my heart to convey is that I'm not a saint. I also don't believe that missionaries, single or not, are saints, or are somehow closer to God, or are somehow have God in their back pocket. I believe that I am serving God just as genuinely now as a single person as my friends are who are buying homes and having their second children and ministering in the ways that their time and efforts allow. When I was in Minnesota I got to spend some time on the volleyball court and around the bonfire with one of my cousin's husbands. I was struck by how he provides for his family by working third shift at the railroad of his local town, while taking care of his daughter on his own until he married my cousin. It seemed to me at least, that this guy is doing exactly what God wants Him to do. And I have no idea how many people he effects by his life and example.

I am incredibly blessed to be able to even have this opportunity to do this. Just like in all of our lives, certain events, choices, and factors are involved to create us who we are today. I could never, ever, work on a railroad, or design software, or be an engineer. But I do think I have gifts to be a counselor, and to live in another country, and to use my gifts to help kids and families who potentially never have a way to ask for help, or to have their hearts and lives changed by God through what I have to offer. Sometimes I do let myself believe that God is paving a way to give me a shot at this long-awaited for goal. It's amazing to be His child!

Finally something that gets racial relations right

It's finding things like this commercial that make me so glad I decided to re-start my blog again.

And, here's a special shout-out to my cousin Rochelle, who usually finds all the videos for me.

Honey, we're not in Tucker anymore

About a year ago a new Ethiopian Restaurant called Messob Work opened about two miles from my home. Over that period of time the family who owns this place, The Abete’s, have become good friends as I’ve stopped in periodically to get a taste of what I’m going to be experiencing. They are really sweet family who love the Lord and also love ministry and make extremely tasty Ethiopian dishes, so it’s kind of a win-win all around. The last time I was in there, Samson Abete invited me to his church’s inaugural worship service and official ribbon cutting ceremony that was held on July 16. The details I had were to show up at 11:30am, that lunch would be included, that there would be worship of some kind, that his church was Ethiopian, that I could bring a friend and that the location was an old GM dealership. After some amount of googling these things, I found his church online and got directions to the place which was only about a 10 min drive from my house.

I showed up at 11:30 sharp, marveling at the two lanes I could choose from on my drive in- one for “guest services” and one for “service dept”. I went out on a limb and picked the guest side. I walked up to the wide glass window doors, and Samson was standing just inside, super excited to give me a tour. My friend showed up soon after, and as he showed us around I quickly made the connection about why a showroom actually makes an excellent space for a sanctuary, if you think about it. During the tour people kept warmly greeting us and there were women everywhere dressed in authentic Ethiopian dress. Samson apparently has been involved in this church for quite a while and they all knew about his restaurant, so we were definitely with the right person.

After the tour, lunch was in the service department, which was so awesome, and the lunch line was in the parts department. It did have a great open space for chairs and everyone was gathered together sharing in the meal. I was 100% gearing up for some injera and tibs or whatever else Ethiopian delicacies we might be having, but actually what they were serving was American style sub sandwiches. I was down with that.

At about 1:30 we walked over to the red carpet which started at an outdoor tent with about 30 chairs underneath it, and led up to the main entrance of the new sanctuary. Red ropes lined the edges with women singing praises in Amharic, and waving palm branches. Samson told us that we were honored guests and should sit with the other dignified-looking people under the tent. We felt pretty awkward doing that, because these people looked way more important than us. However, once the ceremony started and the people under the tent got up to walk the red carpet, Samson insisted that we join them. As we walked everyone watching us was cheering, singing, and taking video and pictures. Somewhere we had to have ended up on someone’s website somewhere. At the ribbon, the procession stopped. A few words were given, and doves were released. Then the cheering started again and we were ushered inside.

We lasted about 1 ½ more hours of the worship service that ensued before our ears needed a break from the Amharic listening. I think my favorite part was just listening and watching these beautiful Ethiopian people sing, dance and praise God. In my experience African cultures really outwardly praise God unabashedly, and it’s quite admirable to me. The whole experience was very touching, and I was humbled to be a part of this church and their culture.

LPC

Today I finally received an email from the Georgia Composite Board, which is the governing body that licenses counselors in my state, that I am officially a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC). It takes three years of practicing as a counselor, post-masters, during which you have to meet with a supervisor and fulfill several other state requirements. You also have to be a pretty fastidious record keeper. It’s a huge relief and a joy to reach this milestone in my counseling career!

So sweet

One of my friends from my new church plant told me this weekend that her nine year old daughter wanted a stack of my prayer cards because she's going to hand them out at her lemonade stand that she's doing to support my ministry in Ethiopia. I saw her daughter at church the next day and she told me that she already sold $3 worth of lemonade but it was a really slow day so I should expect more.

How. Sweet. Is. That?

Peachtree Road Race 2011

July 4, 2011 marked my 6th attempt at running the Peachtree Road Race, which, in case you didn't know, is the largest 10K race in the entire world with over 60,000 participants. So it's not surprising that it's a little nuts.

Basically, I hate running it. However, if you live in Atlanta and can feasibly move your body for about 1 hour and 30 minutes, it is completely worth doing it. Because this race is such a big freakin' deal, there are a TON of spectators lining Peachtree St in Buckhead/Midtown. These spectators aren't just cheering, but they are pretty unique. For example, you may run by the priest at mile 2 sprinkling you with holy water, the people handing out free beer and donuts, the people throwing free T-shirts into the crowd, and my personal favorite this year, the people throwing cheese balls into people's mouths. I was 1 for 2 on the cheese balls.

One of the things I enjoyed the most this year was getting to participate with my cousin Rochelle, who loves running and is quite good at it. This was her first experience doing it which made mine so much more fun. After the race we went to Fox Brothers BBQ for linner (lunch/dinner) which was followed by the Braves game and fireworks. It was a brilliant day.

Somewhere around mile three I began to get teary eyed, thinking about how I dread doing this race each year, but yet it's become so much a part of my life here in Atlanta with a lot of fun memories. The tears were about probably not being around next year for this, since it's likely I'll be in Ethiopia by then. It's these moments that I just have to swallow and remind myself that is not my reality right now, and to savor these times with my friends and family.

At the end of the race, Rochelle and Stephen surprised me by cheering for me from the crowd, and this fun pic was taken (below) as I turned around with wonder that someone was screaming my name and I actually heard it.

The other pic is of Rochelle and I in our Peachtree shirts, which are always a badge of honor to wear for the rest of the day.