Note: blog address change

For various logistical reasons, I needed to move my blog to another service, so from now on please visit my blog at: http://thebirthplaceofcoffee.wordpress.com. All of my old blogs have been transferred to wordpress as well. Thank you!

I'm going to be in Ethiopia with these crazy cats!!

From left to right: Andy Warren, Jason Polk, Bill Yarborough, Jeff Concannon, Emily Treadwell, Bev Warren, me, Cary Sink, Michael Treadwell

Front row: Liz Polk (holding Isaiah), Linda Swallow, Maria Concannon

We took this very fun picture during our American teammate retreat which took place in Athens, GA the weekend of April 15. For one reason or another we were all in the states at the same time, which I think is a miracle if you know anything about how hard is to get missionaries in the same place! So Andy, our team leader, organized this retreat for us. The Warren's, Linda, Cary, and the Treadwell's have all been in Ethiopia for a while (especially the Warren's who have been in Africa total for 25 years) and have been a HUGE help to me as I prepare to serve there. Liz & Jason and their two kids will be arriving in Addis about a month after I get there. They will be starting the new church-plant among the families we serve with. The Treadwell's have two kids and will be arriving back on the field this fall. Jeff & Maria live in Knoxville, TN and help raise money for our project and Bill is the MTW International Director for Africa. Missing from our retreat was all of the Ethiopian staff we normally work with, which I think was especially hard on my teammates who know them well.

Being a part of this retreat got me motivated to write out all of the things I am excited about in regards to moving to Ethiopia. People always are asking me "are you getting excited?!?" I think I am excited, but it's not the same kind of excitement as like going to see a movie that just came out or going on a fun vacation that's finally here or getting a new pet. It's more like a trepidation excitement/borderline terror. So anyway, as I was enjoying a nice walk in Amy Mo's beautiful neighborhood today, I started brainstorming some things I am looking forward to (and yes, sometimes excited about!):

•  Definitely my teammates. Being with them all weekend got me really pumped to get to be with them for two years. It did feel a little surreal- like my mind was catching up to my new identity as someone working and living in Ethiopia, but it was a lot of fun.
• Finally getting to know all the Ethiopian staff which I've heard such amazingly great things about
• All of the randomness that goes into living in East Africa. I have only ever been to Kenya & Ethiopia, but both times I realized some of the best parts is just driving or walking around and watching what's going on. You literally never know what you might see- for better or worse. But a lot of times it can be quite funny (like the bobo train bus in Nairobi with all the strobe lights and TV's).
• Getting to learn another language and actually using it
• Growing spiritually in new ways and being challenged in my faith
• Not having to clean my bathroom
• Having a routine and getting back to work
• Being with the summer interns and working with other interns yet to come
• Getting my new apartment set up and doing things like putting the Christmas card pictures on my refrigerator
• Living a simpler life
• Being able to learn how to really help the poor & do mercy ministry well & how to be an inter-cultural team (we did a lot of discussing this during the weekend and I realized I really have no clue how to do this)
• Getting to meet other missionaries and expatriates from all over the world
• Figuring out how to get around and how to buy groceries and do laundry, etc
• Seeing a new part of the world
• Having family and friends come visit and showing them what I'm doing in Addis Ababa
• Drinking really good coffee and eating spicy food
• Being able to finally experience what full-time ministry life is like

This guy I know named Tom

Almost 11 years ago I finished up my time at Berry College and prepared to move to Atlanta to start my life as a real adult. I remember my first job at MTW and getting that first paycheck thinking I was making a truckload of money and 'joyfully' learning that I couldn't spend it all in the first few days but instead it had to go to rent and gas and such.

One thing I was so grateful for in that time of transition was that I found a great local church, Intown Community, and got involved rather quickly. The church had a thriving singles group which was mainly for adults typically around 22-35 years old or so, but we didn't kick anyone out if you didn't fit that parameter. Most of the close friends I have today came from that group, so I've known them for quite a while. The main reason why the group was so awesome was because of the leadership offered up first by a great pastor on staff, but then after he left it was done by elders in the church who had a passion for discipling and mentoring adults in this stage of life when you're trying to figure out where you belong and how to apply your Christian life in the "real" world. One of these adults was a guy named Tom Maiwald. He and his wife alongside several other families invested in people like me. I didn't know him all that well, but I remember when he called me up in the summer of 2004, after I had been involved in singles for about three years, and asked if I would want to be a part of the servant leadership team which helped planned events and do other things to bring people into our fold and ultimately allow them to hear about Jesus and grow spiritually. I was so humbled he would ask! Even though I didn't end up enjoying planning socials all that much (right, Nathan?), it was really fun to get to know the Maiwald's and be a part of this experience.

Something that we knew about Tom because he was so transparent about it was that he had colon cancer, and that he had already beaten the odds several times and it was a miracle he was even still alive to be with us then. I think he was diagnosed in 1996 when he was only 29, if I remember correctly from hearing his testimony. Anyway, he and his wife have two beautiful kids too who were just in elementary school when I knew them. About halfway through my time on the singles leadership team, Tom's health worsened so he had to step down from being the mentor of this team. Eventually for several important family reasons they left Intown for another church, and I lost track of them. They did have a CaringBridge website, which brings me to the point of why I'm writing this blog.

So the CaringBridge site allows you to get email updates of when someone posts a new journal entry, and we had started to get emails about how Tom's health was deteriorating and he moved to hospice. This started a few weeks ago. Since he's been through so many ups and downs with this battle, I guess a big part of me thought God would provide another miracle and he would continue to be here with us. Anyway, about two weeks ago some friends of mine and I took a trip to Puerto Rico to spend time together before I went to Ethiopia. We've all met somehow through the church and the group I mentioned above. While we were there, Tom's presence and influence in our lives came up several times. I also ended up reading his journal written from April 1, which I can't seem to shake from my mind. At this point, Tom was aware that the end of his journey here was coming to a close. If you have a chance to read it, please do. For me, the take away was just a sincere desire to never stop evaluating my life in light of what God has called me to do. Also, I was so convicted in reading it because I know I spend way too much time thinking about what I haven't done in my life yet, compared to all the things I have gotten to do. It made me want to make a list like Tom did, so I can reflect on all the ways God has blessed me. Maybe that will be another post, but more likely for my own personal journal. I'm not yet as brave as Tom!

I share this because I know that I have been affected by Tom's life and his willingness to share it online through his journal, and I keep coming across so many others who have, and I think there are even more out there. How could so many of us be so impacted, and I haven't even seen him for probably about five years or so? What a true example of a man living to fulfill God's calling in His life. I was not able to attend his visitation or funeral, however, a friend gave me a copy of the bulletin they printed out. On one side of the page there was a list of adjectives describing him; things like "father, mentor, cyclist." At the very bottom it said "finisher." I know that is true of him as he is in heaven now, in perfect joy. 

Attempting to Savor

This past weekend I went to see the Hunger Games movie with some friends, and as we were waiting in line for seats my brain went to where it so often goes which is the "I don't think I will be doing this in Ethiopia so I need to savor each moment" thought pattern. It happened again as I went running today along Midvale Road, looking at all of the beautiful Georgia flowers and bushes in bloom this spring. I think there is a movie theatre in Addis Ababa, but I don't know what movies they get or if it's in English or how it works. You can exercise somehow in Addis, but from what I've heard, running outside is likely not going to be an option for me.

I'm realizing that I can't really fully savor everything, just like I can't fully prepare for what living in Ethiopia is going to be like. I think so much of life is really just being grateful for what we have now and trying to make the most of it, and trusting that God will provide for our needs in the future. It's likely I'm going to get a big dose of the realities of what I really need in life once I move overseas, but I think there can be an advantage to that. I don't think electronics or entertainment or stuff ultimately brings us happiness. Sure I love to watch TV and look forward to getting in my car and driving somewhere to do a quick errand or see a friend. But I can also learn how to get back to writing letters and making new friends and using skype and taking life at a slower, unplugged, pace.

In light of trying to be present for all that God has in store for me these last two months in the states, I had a wonderful visit recently to Minnesota, which was primarily to spend time with my dad (he drove up from Nebraska) and my brother and sister-in-law. I am blessed with a HUGE extended family, but unfortunately it's not always possible to get to see everyone. One afternoon though I was able to visit with my Ringsmuth grandparents and also a cousin and his family who I don't normally get to see, which was awesome. The rest of the time was spent with my immediate family, attending a baby shower for my sister-in-law who is expecting her first baby around May 20, and then also spending time with my mom's side of the family whom I invited to partake in Ethiopian food with me. We had 18 adults and 4 kids at Fasika Restaurant in St. Paul, and it was quite the adventure for me getting things ordered and making sure everyone had at least a little bit of a clue what they were eating. A couple of folks had had it before and one family even looked up the menu ahead of time so they were ready! Everyone tried at least some of it, using the "spongy" injera bread and trying not to think about the food similarities to a particularly disturbing scene from the the movie Bridesmaids at the same time :). It was one of the most encouraging things ever to feel how everyone wanted to try it to have a little taste of what my new life is going to be like.

It was weird thinking that some of these people I will not see for two years. How did you really say goodbye with that thought? I do think we will stay in touch obviously even though it will look different, and God will take care of them just like he does me.

We're constantly berating my dad for his love of taking pictures of everything we do, but then we also have plenty of reminders of treasured memories! Here we are at Matt's bar in Minneapolis enjoying their famous "Jucy Lucy" as featured on the Food Network.

Loved being there for Shannon's baby shower

The Rausch's tackled Ethiopian food for the first time!

And seemingly survived

Best mail day ever!

My last two documents I needed to apply for my work permit for Ethiopia finally came in the mail yesterday!! I had to send off an original copy of my counseling degree diploma and my counseling license to get authenticated by the State Department & the Ethiopian embassy in Washington, DC. I had no idea what authenticated meant, but here's what they looked like when I got them back:

My diploma looked like it had been through a dishwasher

This letter was attached to each document with a gold string and gold seal 

And each was signed by Hillary Rodham Clinton herself! (it wasn't a stamp- so I have to assume she really signed it?!?! I asked Jamie & Nathan and they agreed, so there's that)

I combined these two documents along with an original transcript from counseling school, 12 passport photos, a copy of the picture page from my newly renewed passport which came in the mail the same day as this stuff, my chest x-ray report showing I don't have TB, my blood work, a paper saying I'm in good physical health from my doctor, and a recommendation letter from my former employer, into an envelope and is on it's way to a teammate of mine who is going to bring it all to Ethiopia next week when she goes. Then Teddy, our project manager, will take to the Ethiopian government and hopefully come away with a work permit so I can legally work in Ethiopia and finally buy a plane ticket to leave! Let's pray to that end :)

You guys want to do more?!?!?

Several folks have asked how else they can help support what I'm going to be doing in Ethiopia besides directly giving to my support account now that I'm at 100% of my financial support, which is so humbling to me! So there are some items I will hopefully be purchasing that will add some fun or make life a little easier hopefully to live in East Africa. Here are some ideas if you are interested. The goal for electronic items is to get some that either operate by battery or have dual voltage as much as possible just so that it's easier to use if the power is out for a while. Also, the best place for obtaining and watching shows/movies seems to be ITunes, because you can download what you buy and keep it on your hard drive. I will not be able to watch TV shows or movies online while I am there.

I may add more to this as I think of more things. It's going to be an adventure learning to live in Ethiopia!

• DVD series of TV shows like Bones, Psych, The Office, 30 Rock, Burn Notice, The Good Wife or Friday Night Lights or something else that's either funny or a good story
• Spare battery for my computer (MacBook Pro)
• External Hard Drive for computer
• Oven Thermometer
• Double/full sized sheets
• Dishtowels/oven mit
• Rags that I can use instead of paper towels
• ITunes, REI, Amazon, or Target gift cards
• Crystal Light
• Cliff bars
• Powdered Gatorade
• Extra ink pads for my card making hobby
• Extra Tylenol and extra-strength Advil
• Clothespins
• Travel hair dryer

In addition to these items, I have two teammates who are also still raising financial support. If you're interested in supporting them, please email me and I can get you in touch with them. You can view their websites on my blog list to the right (see Jason & Liz or Michael & Emily).

Also, the ACT project I will be working with can provide their services in part due to their family sponsorship program. Individuals and/or families in the U.S. can support a whole family in this project which will provide such things as school fees, uniforms, clothing, food, medicine, rent, etc. Please see the ACT project website or more information on how to do this. It's $55/month to support a family.

Treasuring this time

The time before I leave for Ethiopia is certainly going by fast, which I think I knew would happen but now I'm living that reality. I've now been back from Belgium for a little over a month, and I have about two months to go before I officially leave, which will probably be around May 20th-ish. Please be in prayer for the last documents I need to come in so I can turn in my paperwork to get my Ethiopian government work permit which will allow me to work with the project for two years in Ethiopia legally. I need to have that before I can book my ticket to leave. Thank you!

God has really given me a sweet attitude about this time I have to rest before Ethiopia. When else in my life can I have concentrated time to visit friends and family and do anything I need to do before I go without having to work full-time? Probably never again. It's awesome. Basically, what this equates to is using my daytime hours to study/learn Amharic with my Ethiopian friend Nadia, helping do a girls bible study with my church, driving up to the MTW office for a conferences or other things (Living in Grace last week, ACT team meeting next month), driving to get my chest x-ray and shots, babysitting for friends, visiting with Alice who is mentoring me in overseas counseling dynamics, working for OM in February to help do their missionary psych interviews, writing thank you notes, visiting supporters, meeting people for lunch, taking people to Ethiopian food, talking to my new teammates, exercising, spending time with the awesome family I'm living with, you catch my drift. I'm not bored.

I've also been grateful to get to schedule a few trips before Ethiopia to visit family and friends for the last time. At the end of February I went to Keizer (outside of Salem), Oregon with my friend Melissa to visit Jennifer, who moved out there from Atlanta last September. The three of us have been really good friends since college and it was hard to see Jennifer go (I call her Gates still which is what we called her in college- old habits die hard). Gates's birthday was February 26, so we decided a while back to go that weekend for a visit, my first time to this state. I think what was so awesome for me with this trip was just getting to see Gates's new life and how she is flourishing in Oregon. I got to meet two families that Gates and Melissa are close to that live just three miles from Gates that really just love on her and support her and I'm sure she does the same for them. I was so blessed to get to spend even just a few days with them! Oregon also is the home to everything outdoors, so I was able to score some sweet Merrill shoes for cheap for Africa that I think will do quite awesomely. There also was the highlight of flying Frontier Airlines which offers you a free warm chocolate chip cookie on each flight, not to mention giving me the privilege of sitting next to "Eric" who was from Minnesota. Since I really believe I have an invisible neon sign on my forehead that says "please tell me your life story" Eric immediately launched into his and it did not disappoint. Eric was on his way to Hawaii (seemingly by the least direct way possible) because he was "tired of the social situation here in the states." If that didn't pan out, his plan B was to move in with a commune in southern Idaho where they take scrap parts and make them into buses. Based on how he smelled, I do not think he believed in deodorant. I was really tired by this point in our flight and felt like he was mainly trying to engage me in an argument, so with everything he said my replies were limited to "that's interesting, sounds good, well...good luck to you!" Seriously, what people do in real life is always better than fiction.

This weekend I am going to Minnesota to spend time with my immediate family (my dad is driving up from Nebraska), attend a baby shower for my sister-in-law, and potentially see as many family members as possible in four days time. I'm also taking my mom's side of the family to have Ethiopian food in St. Paul on Tuesday night, so I'm excited about that. They are up for the adventure!

I really am trying to treasure each remaining day in the states!!

Melissa and I bought these shirts at Mountain Day last fall and got Gates the pink one to surprise her with on the trip! Aren't we like super cute?!?

My first encounter with Oregon Coast roaring Sea Foam (this thing cracks me up every time)

This is really all we saw of the Oregon Trail but I had my eyes peeled for it the whole time

If a tsunami came, we were ready

Maybe I am capable of creative pictures!!! (reflection off the top of a lighthouse on the Oregon coast)

Language learning to start next week!

Wednesday of next week I am officially starting my language learning with Nadia, a really cool Ethiopian gal that is in university here in Atlanta. She has agreed to take up the courageous task of teaching me Amharic!

I was reading something in one of my fave devos called "Jesus Calling" and came across these verses which I think will be my theme for learning a new language: "Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." ~Colossians 4:2-6

Trying to learn the heart language of Ethiopians I imagine will be the one of the most rewarding yet humbling experiences for me. I covet your prayers! As we learned at our training in Belgium "learn another language, gain another soul."

Entering transition time

One of the things I was the most grateful for about the Belgium training was just to have a time set apart from my normal life to refocus my spiritual life and get more mentally prepared for Ethiopia. I know that for me, it's really difficult to be intentional about spending time each day with God, not to mention having like an extended time (maybe a morning or afternoon) where you're really examining your life and getting into the Bible and praying more intentionally about yourself and others around you. It felt great to have time to do that. But like most training/retreats/etc, you go back home at some point and get back into the routine of life. When I was flying back to Atlanta from Brussels and in the first few days of being back here, the thought crossed my mind several times about why it's so hard to keep that momentum going. I really think too I have the unrealistic expectation that in Ethiopia it will be easier to keep my spiritual walk going then it is in Atlanta. I guess because I'll be in "missionary mode then" I don't know why I think that sometimes. But what is likely to happen is that Ethiopia will become my new "normal" and what I am in the habit of doing here in Atlanta will translate into what I'm going to be doing over there. All that to say, I'd like to actually follow through on the spiritual boost I got in Belgium, and hopefully use this transition time I have right now where I'm not working full-time and not yet boarding the plane for Addis, to pick a few hours or a day here & there to just go somewhere and have my own "retreat" with God. FOLLOWING THROUGH WITH IT- now that's going to be the kicker.

There have been other times in my life where I haven't had structured work to do each day every day. Like when I was in graduate school, I had a ton to do but it was up to me how to balance work/school/internship, etc. After school, it took about 2 1/2 months to find a job, which I worked at for 3 months, and then I was laid off. It took another month to find two part-time jobs, and a total of 3 months to get a full-time job. My tendency though when I'm not working full-time is to feel like a slacker and over pack my free time. In Belgium we talked a lot about how being in full-time ministry looks a lot different then maybe an 8-5, M-F job we might be used to in the states. In ministry there's not a clear start or stop time. You might have nationals or people coming to your door at different hours of the day, or getting phone calls about people that need help. For those who have families, they have to balance taking care of their marriage relationship and kids well in addition to ministry/work demands, and singles may struggle with loneliness or how to make friends and work out how to spend time with them (harder when transportation or safety can be a problem). My hope is that maybe in this transition time when I don't have a specific job to do, I can practice being in ministry mode and hopefully get some opportunities to serve, but also balance taking care of myself/my spiritual life and helping family I'm living with as well.

In the past year God has blessed me extremely in this process of preparing to be a missionary. One of the many ways I've seen this is how he's raised all of my financial support in just about 10 months time or so. Other ways have been seeing God provide a place for me to live during this transition, love and support of so many to spend time with while I'm still in Atlanta, opportunities to spend quality time with friends & family before I leave for Ethiopia, a renter for my home, and I'm sure I can think of others. I am exceedingly grateful and humbled about all this stuff. It's hard for me sometimes to be showered with grace! I know that sounds stupid. But it's like, I'd rather be giving out the help, you know? It's hard not to feel indebted towards others, and towards God. But that's what is so interesting, He has set this up so that I can't do this on my own. I have to rely on His help, and the help from others. And I truly believe that they will be blessed by their generosity as well. I know this time of transition is a part of his plan.

It's times like these where I can see bits of heaven while we're still on earth- the joys and blessings of just knowing Him, and walking with Him.

CCMI Brussels, Belgium: Close to being done

Unbelievably our time here has gone by way too fast and we're almost done. I will be heading back to Atlanta on Thursday, February 9. Back to life- back to reality. Like most concentrated trainings/conferences/internships, etc there have been a ton of fun times and also deep learning times. I look forward to trying to summarize all of those for those inquiring minds who want to know and hopefully sharing in some amazing Belgian chocolate with you all.

This week I have again been humbled a lot and encouraged a lot by God's goodness. This concept has been a theme in my life- just the struggle to always trust that God is good despite whatever circumstance comes my way. What's weird is that I think I get so used to the struggle that I'm surprised when things are awesome. I've felt this a lot while being at this training. It seems like God continues to remind me that His character and core essence is consistent love and goodness. He has given me several gifts along the way here.

One being is the reminder of the power of prayer. This week, and several other times here, we've had a more extended time of prayer in the Word, and for each other. I guess that's something I always enjoy about trainings like this, is that there are scheduled times for you to do it, so there's no like slacking off. One day this week the women gathered to pray and were asking me about prayer requests. I mentioned that my Ethiopia team is having a meeting probably in April in Atlanta, and we could be praying about that. I also said that it looks like right now, I have just $100/month left in pledges to be at 100% of my financial support team built. I am at the last $100/month. It's totally weird to put that into words. Since I'm likely not leaving for Ethiopia until May, I was just asking them to pray that it comes in. They were like "why don't we pray that comes in by the end of this training." I'm often hesitant to pray really specific things like that, especially because I'm afraid of that whole dichotomy of having faith it will happen but being able to hold the outcome of this loosely and in God's will. But I thought it was cool they wanted to pray and believe that with me. We'll see how God does this!!!

Another thing I wanted to mention was that I got to take several of the CCMI participants to enjoy Ethiopian food in Leuven, which is a town about 20 minutes from where we're staying in Zaventem (outside of Brussels). Since I've become a walking advertisement for Ethiopia and all things food related, quickly I discovered that I was the only participant here (a lot of the staff had had it before) who hadn't experienced this part of Ethiopian culture and they totally wanted to do it. Andrew found this place so we went! Man, talk about cross-culture experience. I volunteered to order everything so looking at the menu, I decided already I wanted tibs and wat and their yellow peas things and gomen. I also wanted shiro, but that wasn't on there. The Ethiopian lady/owner came and spoke English but honestly she might as well have been speaking Latin I had no clue what she was saying. Somehow we figure out that the menu online we were looking at was five years old and now all the prices for the sampler platters (best for big groups) have gone up by 9 Euro which is a boatload of money since everything's crazy expensive here. Also they don't have shiro because no one liked that in Belgium. So I try to order a minimum amount so we don't get too much food- one veg platter and one meat platter. About twenty minutes later one very small platter with meat and vegetables come out. We all eat it and it's awesome but we only get like two bites each. Everyone's attitudes are great though and no one's like throwing me under the bus. We keep waiting thinking another one's coming out. Nope. After flagging down the lady's son, we order another platter and more of the yellow peas and gomen and I order tibs and kitfo (Andrew and Megan will eat anything as long as it's crazy and weird and kitfo is in this catagory. Google if it if you're curious). The son leaves. Five or so minutes later the lady comes back out again and talks again in the English/Latin and somehow I think she's confirming our order so we're good. We're wondering at this point why her son works there. Anyway, we did get enough food and somehow managed not to pay a fortune. So great! Everyone loved it, and it warmed my heart to get to share this part of my life with them. That literally was the only thing warm though because it was a VERY COLD 15 minute walk back to the train, and then 10 more minutes back to Zaventem. Whew! Can't wait for 60 degree Atlanta!!

I think they liked it

CCMI Brussels, Belgium: Week Three

I think just in addition to how God's been helping me to see that my attitude wasn't quite, er...um...stellar before coming here, he has been giving me gifts left and right by way of my teammates and comrades here at this training. I am always just blown away by how God lavishes his love upon us, even when we don't deserve it or if you're like me, you're worried for some reason that God won't continue to carry me on this journey. But I think for a lot of us, I am more humbled any day by how good, consistent, and faithful God especially when it's clear that I am not those things back to him oftentimes.

This week in training I was asked to do the morning devotional, which is just like a ten minute spiritually focused reading and sharing whatever is on your heart. I decided to share on how Philippians 1:19-21 has been such an encouragement to me in this process. One of the ways it does this is just to quiet my fear about doing this journey alone. That usually is what is the hardest about this is the feeling of having to do this without someone specific experiencing this with me. Sometimes it's hard for me to be self-motivating and to push forward because this missionary stuff & all that's involved can be really daunting. What's been neat about this is that the verses talk about how God is going to work "these things out for my deliverance" which to me is saying there is a bigger purpose to what's going on and that God is going to make me more like Him throughout this. He also has shown me how He is so good, by His character shown in these verses, and then I've been really noticing how he plants gifts in my life as reminders that He is taking care of me.

One example of this at this training is that before I was actually thinking "what if these other missionaries here aren't cool and like don't want to hang out and go places and I have to do things by myself all the time." What's happened in reality, is that I am staying in the only three person room here, so I have two roommates with me almost all the time, and we're living in a dorm style place, so it's really like missionary camp and we're all living together in a dorm- couples, families, singles, etc. Between that and the small number of missionaries at this training (12), we're together a lot. And I'm being totally honest when I say that I am with the most incredible bunch of people. I have been able to have some really good heart-touching conversations where I have felt heard and affirmed and edified just being with someone who knows what it's like to be doing something like this. Everyone is also a lot of fun, and everyone seems adventurous and travels well together. For anyone out there that has had to travel around with groups of people you know, this is a gift from God!!! It's funny too because although I am enjoying my roommates and this dorm so much, there are aspects of it that are making me look forward to living by myself once I got to Ethiopia. Just to have my own space to be able to reflect and think and rest sometimes I think will be good. But when I need people time, I know I will have to trust God to provide that either with His presence or the presence of others cause I'm not sure how that will look over there.

It's helped me to relax a bit and trust that God's going to also take care of these same needs in Ethiopia. Of course it won't look the same, but that's the point. He knows and has been preparing who will be my new support system there. And, I've already been praying that He would bless my support system back in the US, and that He would allow me to trust Him for His plan for those relationships and people I will miss talking too so easily and so much as I do when I'm living in Atlanta. He does have a plan for how that will work out (as I talked about this with Debbie & Ellie this week about what it's like to say goodbye to the kids in your life- like your nieces and nephews- already was crying and I was barely talking about it). It is definitely on my heart to pray for you all- my support team. It is a calling and a cost and a sacrifice for you guys too to have to say goodbye; to let me go. I know that God will also bless your faithfulness and sacrificial love in loving me and being a part of my team.

I wanted to mention a few other highlights from the week. I didn't mention in my last blog that we had a chance to go over to one of the families' houses for dinner from the Persian Church we've been a part of here, and I'll include the picture we took afterwards. It was a wonderful night of fellowship, hospitality and AMAZING food! I've never had Persian food before and man was I missing out. We also got to do a little retreat on Monday morning, using the book "Life Together" by Bonhoeffer as a guide for our prayers and journaling. It was a great focused time to just think about the benefits and challenges of living in community and how to foster healthy ministry with others. The rest of this week Tuesday-Friday we did the PILAT language learning training. This basically teaches you tools on how to learn a second language, and then you practice the tools by learning bits of a language while you're here. My group learned German, but the other group learned Persian (Iranian). It was sometimes a lot of fun but sometimes it was hard and I definitely wanted to quit. If anything though it deepened my commitment and desire to really work on learning Amharic, which I'm going to try to do as much as I can in Atlanta with my friend Nadia once I get back.

I've included also pictures here of the tulips we got when we went to Amsterdam last Saturday (three hours one way by train), and also of a fun pic of our group that we took on our day trip to Brugge, Belgium yesterday.

Let it be to me according to your word

And the angel answered her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy—the Son of God. And behold, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son, and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren. For nothing will be impossible with God.” And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her. ~Luke 1:35-38

Every morning we start our days here in training in Belgium with worship, prayer, and a devotional. I am a sucker for all three, especially when I don't have to plan it but just get to sing and listen and pray using resources that someone else designed. It's cool because sometimes people will think of a song or use a devotion book or a encouraging reading that I don't use or haven't heard of before so it's different. For example, typically we ask one of our participants, 2 1/2 year old Hannah Cordell, for a song request at the end of our worship time, and because of that we've gotten to sing "Away in a Manger", "Jesus Loves Me", and "Holy, Holy, Holy". Pretty great!

Something that just hit me this week was the devotion that Carolyn did on Wednesday morning. It had already been one of those mornings where it just seemed like I could feel a personal connection to the songs picked and the prayers and everything else. It's cool when that happens cause let's be honest, we can all just sort of go through the motions with this stuff sometimes. But it seemed to me like God wanted to show me something that morning. Carolyn's devotion was on these verses that I put at the beginning. Although there are still a plethora of Christmas decorations out and about around Brussels to provide inspiration, what she focused on didn't have to do with Christmas but was focused on the last part of the verse which describes Mary's attitude towards God: "Let it be to me according to your word."

If you follow this blog at all, you've probably read about what my attitude's been like most recently regarding my own calling of serving in Ethiopia, which frankly has not been too positive. I know that a lot of this is normal, and I'm not going to like bash myself or anything about being sad or missing my friends at my old job, or the difficultly in this transition period, etc. However, I was really struck by Mary's simple response and obedience, meanwhile I think I've gotten way too bogged down in my present circumstances. Carolyn shared too about how Mary was likely around 15 years old when the angel informed her of her pregnancy, and that because of the cultural stigma around having a baby out of wedlock, she likely felt the shame of this for HER WHOLE LIFE. Her. Whole. life.

I started thinking about how actually this process of becoming a missionary to Ethiopia has been one of the most encouraging parts of my life. People have come out of the woodwork to support me with their presence, love, homes, finances, prayers, the list goes on and on. I can think of probably at least one example every day of gratefulness and confirmation that this is the path for me. Today's would probably be that I had a long exchange of emails with two of my teammates which reminded me of how much they already love me and support me by making sure I have details I will need in order to live in Ethiopia. I also got an email from someone who wanted to financially support me. However, it is so painfully easy for me though to completely lose sight of this. Sure there have been a small handful of people who have told me I am nuts to my face basically. Or there are days where I absolutely think I will not be able to survive saying goodbye to friends and family for two years. But it does put things into perspective when you think about blessings of God wrapped in Mary's obedience. She was known as the mother of God. I can say to God "sure, I will do what you ask" but then what about when He says I have a perfect plan for you and it's in Africa? That is when my words become actions, and God provides verses like these and people like Carolyn, that bring back to reality the difficulty, yet the joy of knowing that many years ago I made a commitment to live with Jesus as my Lord, which means doing what He asks despite the cost. And you know what, it might be hard but it is so good and sweet all in the same. I would never, ever, want to change that commitment, because His blessings way outweigh these times of pain.

God, may you give me the grace to let it be to me according to your word.

{the included pics are of me and Carolyn, who is currently serving in Uganda, and a pic of me with my mentoring group here in Belgium}

CCMI Brussels, Belgium: Week One

Well I've finished my first five days or so at my training in Belgium. Going into this training I was totally in task mode just hoping I could finish everything involved in moving out of my house and getting ready for my renter, plus squeezing in precious times with friends that I missed seeing from being gone in Minnesota for two weeks. I literally was throwing stuff in my two suitcases and praying that things like my hair mousse and my cardigans and my scarf made it in there and not in some box that ended up elsewhere. I felt really spent. The flight over and everything was uneventful, but, it was awesome to find out that fellow trainees James & Debbie McCormick and Rachel Snider were on my flight. Debbie and I worked in the MTW office together a while back, so I was really excited to see her again and to get to know her husband who is a fellow counselor. We met up with a bunch of others from our group at baggage claim. Total there are 12 MTW missionaries here serving in East Africa, Central Asia, South Asia, Eastern Europe, and one woman who will be in the Appalachia area of the US.

I didn't think I had really any expectations going in, but then as I've settled in I've realized that maybe this training is going differently (not badly, just differently) than I thought. One thing that has totally caught me off guard for some reason is that a big part of this training (it's sort of implied you realize once you're here) is getting to know your way around Brussels, getting to know the Belgian people, and setting up your ministry assignment. The only super structured time is from 8:30-12:30 each weekday morning when we have worship, devotional, and an educational lesson on something that will be valuable to know in learning how to live in another culture on a new team of people. In the afternoons and on weekends you are allowed to build relationships with the people you meet at your ministry assignment, which for me is with a Persian (think Iran) church here in Brussels, complete your cross-cultural assignments (journals and ethnographies) and then you are allowed to plan your free time to learn Brussels. Wow. So basically it's totally like being a missionary but assigned to Belgium, because we do have some structure and ideas of what to do and how to live here, but a lot of it is up to you to figure out how to get around, what to do, what is the most important way to learn your culture and people and how to prioritize your time.

Fortunately doing this all in Brussels is way easier than it will be to do in Ethiopia, I suspect. For example, public transportation is readily available, you can drink the water and have access to fast internet, the Belgian people are very friendly and kind if you ask for help, and A LOT of people know English well. But, it's still hard learning your way around a foreign country. For example, after three relatively easy days of figuring out the train schedule and riding the train to/from Brussels Centre, three of us completely missed our train this afternoon because we didn't hear the announcement in French that our train was now arriving on a different track. We didn't know that could happen- so far the posted track on the schedule you look at initially has been where the train ends up to get you. Because of that what should have taken us about 10 minutes in waiting turned into 40 when we had to wait for a new train to come. There's other little things, which has led to tiredness and withdrawing for me, like learning how to be around a new set of people and personalities, and learning what the routine is here and what's expected, while still adjusting to the time change, etc.

I really didn't think this would be a challenge. I am glad God is humbling me and it will be interesting to see what he has in store. Sunday afternoon will be our first time going to the Persian church (the sermon will be in French) and my prayer is that I can make some good connections with Persian women while I'm here, and also my prayer is that this training will help me to adjust my perspective to my "new" life coming up, which will be living full-time in another culture {africa!!!}

I'm likely laughing at something Debbie just said

I about fell out of my chair when I found out they have Coke Zero here

This is a part of the "exercise room" at the OM Centre where we're staying. This bike had to be from the early 70's, and definitely was a direct replica of someone very special who also exercised using this to stay healthy while living in a hatch...

My team who will be with me at the Persian church ministry assignment, except for Ellie (second from left) who is at the Scottish church. In this pic is Rachel, Ellie, James, Debbie, Megan (holding Kyle), Andrew, and me.

The concept of home

Ahhhh, the elusive concept of home.

If you've ever spent any amount of time with missionaries or people who do a lot of transitioning back and forth between countries, one of the common things is the struggle to define what makes "home" to us. For the past ten years or so if you would have asked me this question, I would have said "Atlanta" although I always end up explaining that I'm originally from Nebraska or Minnesota. This question used to really take me off guard because it was weird identifying myself with the south, with a city I didn't really ever set out to live in but was where God called me to live and have grown to love.

Now that I'm in the process of packing up my literal home of the past 5 1/2 years, I am realizing how deep my roots to this place, this city, really are. Atlanta was where I made my first church membership. This is the first home I have ever purchased. Upon moving in, I really wanted a cat now that I had my own place and didn't have to worry about a pet deposit. The Lord provided me with Sox, who has been a dream kitty that everyone loves. I mean, she purrs anytime you even look at her or say her name! We've had tons of dinners, game nights, deep discussions, LOST parties, birthday parties, prayer gatherings, bible studies, or just sitting TV with blankets in front of the fire listening to the birds out on the pond. It's been such a neat place to live. Of course not every experience in this home was awesome, but isn't that what makes a place home too? It's where we have our most intimate moments with people, in relationships, with our Creator, and it's where we feel safe and loved (we hope- in healthy homes)!

I have also felt a certain element of "home" being at work at MARR. My co-workers are so awesome. I couldn't have asked for better people to be with every weekday! I think I felt at home there because we really did share in each other's lives. We also have to work together to make complex decisions that affect other people. It's extremely emotionally involved, even though we try to not get stuck in how we feel about people. I have felt fear, sadness, angry, joy, sorrow, and anxiety sometimes all in the same day, or same hour, working with patients and families and pointing them somehow to a path of healing. I fell into addiction work totally because of the hand of God- I didn't really seek it out. I had a friend, Teresa, who initially told me about MARR and when I she did I thought the idea of working there seemed nuts. I ended up getting an internship there and later a job. Every day I couldn't believe I got to come to work with this quality of people and do kingdom work. I thought I would only have found that at MTW. God provides and knows exactly what we need.

Now this week I am back into transition mode. My Monday my house will be clean, packed and ready for my renter. I left my job on Dec 16. I am not at work this week like normal. I visited with my family for almost two weeks over Christmas which was probably the longest I had been up there since college. I'm not sure if I will get back before I leave for Ethiopia, but we'll see. I came back from Minnesota to find that my cat Sox, who has been struggling with digestive problems over the past few months, basically stopped eating, and never really recovered. Last night I said goodbye to her with a close friend who also cared about her. I wrote her a letter saying all the things I needed to about our friendship, even though as a cat, I'm sure she was just stoked we were petting her for so long. But I knew the letter was more for me, so that I could say goodbye and let go. Today is the day she will no longer be suffering, but will be at peace. On Monday I leave for training in Belgium for a month, so I can better learn how to live cross-culturally; how to develop my new "home" in Ethiopia for the next two years; how to identify myself as a missionary counselor. After Belgium, and pre-Ethiopia, my "home" will be temporary, with dear friends in Tucker, and my schedule will be flexible. Undefined. For the first time in many years for this length of time. It will be very interesting to see what adventures lie ahead.

I am more grateful then ever for my constant- The Lord, who has encourages me through His Word and my awesome support system from you all. I am blessed.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." ~James 1:17

Me with my MARR mug in Tommy's office during my last week

What I used to do!

Goodbye cake at Christmas potluck- taken 12/14/11

A lot of the work fun comes from these people, and they were the brainchildren behind the cake

My brother took this fun pic in Minnesota- that's me with his dog Gunter

Sox