It's 8:03 on a Friday night

Tonight I had to resign myself to do something really boring, as in reading for school and doing a take home final that had to be postmarked by tomorrow.

The reward for finishing my test and driving to the post office to ensure the needed June 30 postmark, was to stop by my favorite Mexican place, Mi Taco, for an awesome Chicken Quesadilla to-go. Hmmm..this blog is starting to sound a lot like my cousin Simon's, who always seems to report on food.

Anyway, I digress.

I was able to obtain the said quesadilla at around 8:03pm, which was when I got in the car to make my way home on Pleasantdale Rd as usual. I should mention here that the only reason I was driving was because I promised Jamie and Nathan I would. I really wanted to walk to Mi Taco because I like the exercise and I like that it makes me feel like I'm overseas to walk places. But it is a bit dangerous, as they pointed out, so I drove.

As I was getting in the car I thought I heard someone calling out in a really loud voice, but I couldn't make sense of the words and it didn't seem bad so I just got in the car and started driving home. As I got to the main corner by Mi Taco, there was about 20 teenagers standing on the corner in a big group. One guy had a megaphone, another girl had a small camcorder. The megaphone guy was shouting something about
believing in Jesus. Wow. Swell. I hadn't seen anything like that in years. I'm not sure how sincere they were considering the camcorder, etc. I had a burning desire to say something like "isn't there a better way to do this" as I was pretty close to them, but miraculously I withheld. I was really thankful for Nathan and Jamie's advice at this point.

When I got home I ate my quesadilla just as a terrific storm was brewing. So I picked up my book, settled in on the couch, and focused on finishing it by tonight. I should mention now that the book I had to read was for a class on the dynamics of suffering and God, and it was about sin and evil. Also, just as the storm got really intense, I started the chapter on exorcism. Good timing. Then the lights go out. Even better timing. The lights come back on and I search for candles just in case. Also, around this time I debate calling Jamie, but realize I will probably survive and I can always stop reading, right?? That's what she would tell me to do. Plus, I don't know what I would ask her to help me with. And I'm not sure if I could ask her to come home to sit with me while I finish the exorcism chapter. Unfortunately that chapter was the best read out of all of them, so I read the whole thing word for word.

But the storm died down. Nothing overly doomish has happened. Soxie came by for a pat. And Jamie will be home soon....so much for boring. Time for bed! We'll see how that goes. I think I'm going to read my Narnia book to counteract the effects.

The Twelve Steps

One of the things I've learned about since being at MARR has been the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. The patients are MARR work through them while they are there. They're meant to be done in order, with each one building upon the other. They're also meant to be worked more than once. When you're finished, typically you start over with the first step.

The steps draw an amazing parallel to the Christian life.

In fact, one Christian writer and theologian, Dallas Willard, modified the steps just a bit and wrote them out to create "The Twelve Steps of Christian Formation". If you know the original Twelve Steps, you'll see what I mean by parallel:

1. I admit that I am powerless over sin and that my life has become unmanageable.
2. I believe that God-through his actions and those of his son Jesus and the Holy Spirit-can restore me to sanity.
3. I will turn my will and my entire life ovver to the care of God.
4. I will make a searching and fearless inventory of my life to discover all the ways I have engaged in self-worship (by being in control instead of living surrendered to the will God).
5. I will admit to God, to myself, and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs.
6. I am entirely ready to have God remove all the defects in my character and replace them-through his presence-with the thoughts, emotions, will, behavior, and relationship patterns of Christ.
7. I humbly ask God to help me become willing to deny myself-and the desire to live life on my terms-and to remove my short-comings.
8. I will make a list of all the people I have harmed and become willing to make amends.
9. I will make direct amends to all I have injured.
10. I will continue to take personal inventory, and when I wrong someone, I will promptly admit it.
11. I will, through prayer, meditation, and the practice of other Christian disciplines, attempt to improve my conscious contact with God.
12. Having experienced some measure of authentic transformation as a result of surrendering all aspects of myself to the power and presence of Christ, I will carry this message to others and continue to practice these principles in all my affairs.

Loganville, GA

Loganville, as I found out last night, is approximately 45 minutes from Doraville, where I live. It's a straight shot on 78 East, past the big stone mountain, the car dealerships, South Gwinnett High School, a few new strip malls, and some fields. Both cities are, of course, considered to be "Atlanta".

I ventured deep into Gwinnett County after my Theodicy class because Gates and Melissa now live there and they invited me out to see the new pad. Melissa's sister Amy actually owns the house. She closed on it yesterday morning. I of course asked her if she was worried, now that the paperwork was signed, if a tornado would come or something would explode. Those were some major concerns of mine when I closed on my townhouse. But no, she was calm as a cucumber, obviously demonstrating much better psychological resistance.

It will be a bit of a change since we used to only live 15 minutes apart. But I remember thinking that was really far from our across-the-hall walk we used to do in the Morton-Lemley dorm at Berry. We survived.

Maybe it's preparing us for whatever's next. Actually, I'm the one always bringing up going overseas, for pete's sake. It's good to know that that we have a friendship that lasts the distance.

Especially if the free pizza, brownies, and cherry coke zero continues. Mmmm..that's a good Friday night meal.

CIT

Many times during the week I have to sign official forms at my internship sites with Jessica Ringsmuth, CIT (counselor-in-training). Someday I hope those will be replaced with the three different letters that show you're like graduated and competent.

I have been pretty rough on myself as a CIT. I really, really, want to be an expert right now. It's very hard being the "newby". I haven't done any sort of new job for a different company since 2001. Now I have two new "jobs" with my counseling internships. Although I love getting feedback from people, asking questions, and I don't think I act like a know-it-all, deep down inside I want to be confident and not make mistakes. I want my pride to stay intact and always say the most therapeutic thing at just the right time. Is that too much to ask??

Folks have helped me realize that my expectations of myself are much higher than probably my supervisor's or even my client's even. You would think that would help.

Humbling situations is what seems to help the most.

On Monday morning, for example, I normally sit in on three groups at MARR. Recently in the groups I've been trying to add in my two cents instead of just listening as a participant. This is the point of learning to counsel, right? I have to try to say something. So last Monday the group leaders and I were there and while we were still waiting for a few folks to get in, one of the guys asked a question about getting a particular massager for his back. He wanted one of those simple, four pronged wooden things that he could use on his own to knead out knots. I piper in and say "oh yeah, I know what you're talking about, the Mr. Happy's." I know this because I have one and it is indeed called a Mr. Happy, complete with a smiley face. Well, at an all-men's rehab facility, of course the idea of getting a Mr. Happy is nothing short of hilarious.

Consider me now humbled, CIT.

Gina's bachelorette party

Here are some fun pics from Gina's bachelorette party that was two weekends ago! She is getting married on Saturday. We met at MTW almost six years ago and have worked side by side in the internship department until I left to work from home last January. It's really neat how both of us got to be such good friends through an initial working relationship. After we had worked together for about two years our friend and former MTW intern Mary Bell was astonished to know that Gina and I worked together but didn't hang out much outside of that. I remember thinking that we worked together forty hours a week so you get to know a person quite well just with that. Now I can't imagine my life without her as a friend! And we do hang out outside of work.

The first pic is of us at South City Kitchen which is where we went for dinner. It was amazing. The second pic is of Gina (pink veil) and all of us bridesmaids

BTW- Gina was lucky and got off pretty easy as far as gifts goes for the party. I'm not sure if Jamie will be so fortunate at hers...

Maybe it won't be the summer of doom

I have been anticipating this summer to be quite doomish. Primarily this comes from having to take five classes, start my internship, and work part-time all within 2 1/2 months. However, this past week I started class and it went pretty well. I got the feeling that the professors understand that really none of us want to actually be in school during the summer, so my classes at least right now don't seem really difficult. I'm sure there will be a few moments though of "how-in-the-he__-will-I-get-this-all-done" but somehow I always get through it.

I am really looking forward to two of my classes, Christian Traditions and Theodicy. Christian Traditions is a class on church history but it's more on layman's terms then your typical hard core seminary class. I've been reading the main book right now and am learning all sorts of interesting things. Like did you know that Stephen was martyered eight years after Jesus was already crucified? I always thought it was like right after or something.

Theodicy is about the theology of suffering. Two out of the five books we have to read for that class are written by C.S. Lewis: "Grief Observed" and "The Problem of Pain". They will be my first non-Naria C.S. Lewis books books I have ever read. I already finished the first one, and could really relate to it. So I'm excited to read those and learn more about God's purposes for suffering.

I think the hardest part for me so far has been just being an actual counselor now. For example, I can see up to four clients on Tuesday nights at the Hope Counseling Center. I only have one right now, so I basically get all dressed up and go to my center to see her, do my paperwork, and come home. Then on Thursday nights I have supervision for that client and the others I will get. It's definitely not down to a routine yet, although going well. I think it still sounds weird to tell people that I'm going to see my client though.

My internship at MARR on Mondays and Wednesdays is still amazing. I'm learning a ton about the disease of addiction and I love the people there. It's a huge blessing. I still cannot believe that I'm working at a rehab place with men with additions, but clearly God knew something that I didn't because it's awesome.

They're not going to be able to come

MTW hosts a global missions conference biannually (that's every other year, for those of you that get confused) that takes place in Atlanta during a weekend in November. It's a pretty fargin' big deal. So big in fact that each MTW employee is assigned a group of churches to call that are affiliated with our denomination to personally invite folks to come.

None of us, I believe, really like making the calls, although obviously we believe in the conference and all that.

This year I had to call about thirty churches that were all located in Pennsylvania except for a random two that were in Maryland. The deadline to make the calls in next Friday, so not wanting to procrastinate to the max, I started making them today. Plus my boss sort of asked us in our meeting last Tuesday how the calls were going and I was the only one who hadn't started. Yeah, it's time.

So by 9:30am I was strolling along through my list and having some good conversations I might add with missions pastors, etc. I hit a slight bump in the road around 11:45 after I called the first of my two Maryland churches.

Once I got off the phone with the first one I realized that the second one had the same phone number as the first, but with the church attendance size listed as "0". I thought, hmmm, it's probably a new church plant affiliated with the first, and doesn't have a lot of regular attendees yet. I decided to call the first church back and ask. Here's how the conversation went:

"Faith Presbyterian Church" ~receptionist says.

~my time to shine. "Hi, this is Jessica again calling from MTW. Listen, I have a question. The next church on my list to call is listed as WIC Presbyterian and it has the same phone number as your church. Is it like a new church-plant or something?"

"Well, that church is affiliated with ours and we helped start it, but it's actually in a prison."

"A prison?"

"Yeah. We have a night worship service over there and members of our church attend and reach out to the inmates. It's grown into an actual church of it's own now."

"Wow. That's really cool."

"Yeah, it's been a really neat ministry."

"Hmmm...so....I'm guessing those folks are not going to be able to come to the MTW missions conference."

Cough/laughter. "No, probably not."

"Right. Ok, thanks!"