The way the house looks now

Sigh. It's finally started- the beginning of many changes leading up to leaving for Ethiopia.

Yesterday my roommate officially moved out and into her new beautiful townhouse that she closed on a few weeks ago. I've been helping her here and there to get ready and am really excited for her in this journey.

After the movers came yesterday, I sat down and looked around (see pics) and was like "whoa...it's begun and it's for real." She and I have been roommates for almost four years, and in the process she has become one of my closest friends. I've loved coming home and having someone to talk to and go places with spontaneously and yes, carpooling together. It's interesting how two people who seem really different on the outside could become exactly what each other needed to grow and change into how God was making us during this time. We knew that this aspect of our friendship would change. It's just that you can't prepare yourself fully for how you're going to feel once it's there.

I know I will get used to living by myself. But for now, I feel like it's me and Sox and it's mighty quiet 'round here.

MARR Banquet

One of the things I love most about working at MARR is the fact that they are all about giving back to others, which is a hard thing in a tough economy when we still need to pay the bills and provide services that keep alcoholics sober. Even though comparatively to other residential treatment centers of our caliber our costs to clients and families are much lower, it’s still quite a sacrifice for many. However, several times throughout the year we have events that allow us to raise money for our scholarship fund, which gives partial scholarships out to new clients who qualify. For many patients, it’s the lifesaving tool that allows them access to a facility such as ours. I am so proud to be able to have donated to this along with a bunch of other employees and alumni clients and their families.

In November of each year, MARR hosts their annual banquet which raises a bulk of the funds we use for the following year’s scholarships. Usually all the employees and their families come and it’s a ton of fun. Occasionally I get tired of having to go to events like this by myself, so I found myself a hot date in my cousin Rochelle who accompanied me (see picture for our combined immense hotness). I chose Rochelle as she is an excellent mingler and she is all about learning about things like addictions. We got ready for the event at her house and said goodbye to Stephen and the kids before we went. The kids were speechless when we saw us- either because our hotness or technically….it could have been the Papa John’s favorite special with bacon pizza that they were enjoying.

We had a great time! Rochelle was super sweet in that she said it meant a lot to her to get to meet the people I work with and get to see more of what I do every day. Basically the banquet consists of a nice meal, a recovery-related speaker, and then a few other awards and announcements are made. I saw a lot of former clients too which is always awesome because we never really totally know what happens after they leave. There were about 600 people there which is low. Most of the time we get about 800-1000 people that come, but we actually ended up raising more money this year than we ever have before. It was awesome!!! It’s cool to see God answer prayers in a tangible way like that for us.

In the three years I have worked at MARR, I personally know of three clients that have died from issues directly related to their addiction. Most of my coworkers who have been around longer know many, many more. I felt like in that moment, we were doing a small thing to celebrate those that are in recovery and to make a difference for the next person so they can experience the miracle for themselves.

I'll include here one of my favorite prayers that I've learned since being around at MARR. It was written by St. Francis, and used in AA rooms in conjunction with Step 11:

Lord, make me a channel of thy peace,
that where there is hatred, I may bring love;
that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;
that where there is discord, I may bring harmony;
that where there is error, I may bring truth;
that where there is doubt, I may bring faith;
that where there is despair, I may bring hope;
that where there are shadows, I may bring light;
that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.

Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted;
to understand, than to be understood;
to love, than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life.

So you are trying to get sober with AA

Thank you to Tommy for this window into the world of substance abuse treatment and in particular, how AA works:

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/12653877/is-nitrus-oxide-sober

What I'm learning about AIDS

I have a feeling that instead of constantly defending and explaining and educating people about the disease of addiction, my focus is about to change to the HIV/AIDS virus.

Right now I'm sitting in my living room watching an ESPN interview on SportsCenter with Magic Johnson. Today is the 20th anniversary of his announcement that he was retiring from the NBA because he has tested positive for HIV. Apparently part of the reason he retired was because other NBA players like Karl Malone publicly stated they would not play on the court with him out of fear they would contract the virus. Magic discussed how at the time many people were uneducated about how the disease was contracted including himself, and that even though the chances were impossible that they would contract it from regular basketball play, he felt it was the best decision to retire. He said he harbors no ill will at all against other players who were fearful and now he dedicates his time to his foundation which helps educate people about HIV/AIDS.

I am still extremely new in my understanding about how this disease works. However, one of the best books I've read about this subject, particularly describing the AIDS epdemmic in Africa, is a booked called "The Invisible Cure" by Helen Epstein. I'm not entirely finished with the book so far, but it goes through the reasons for why AIDS has spread faster in Africa, and how people contract HIV and how it develops into AIDS.

The other day I was at work and a client asked me if it was true I was moving to Africa to work with HIV+ people and I said "yes." He said "well you really need to be careful over there because I had a friend who played soccer barefoot while he was in Africa and he got AIDS after stepping on a piece of bloody glass." Wow. There is so many ways you could go with that statement but I just said "that's actually virtually impossible, if not entirely possible to happen. Plus why would I play a sport period without shoes? I wouldn't do that in the states." Honestly it was so ludicrous I had to do one of those laughs but-faked-it-as-a-cough sort of things. So here's to reading, learning, and educating myself and anyone else who dares to care about this important issue!

Saying Goodbye to Clients

Well, it's out. I think everyone knows at work including staff, alumni, current clients, families, and maybe even future clients that I am leaving MARR, my employer for the past three years, on December 16. I've never left a counseling job before, outside of being laid off from Talbott. But since I was only there for three months and I didn't really have a heads up about it, I wasn't able to emotionally prepare myself or my clients for my leaving.

This time, I've been relying on advice from my supervisor about how to say goodbye to some of my current clients. For the most part, I only work with my clients and their families for the three months they are at MARR, and mostly that work is over the phone because the families oftentimes do not live in Atlanta or are not available or willing to do family sessions in person. However, some clients and their families that live locally do sign up for aftercare counseling which means they can schedule sessions to come in an see me for therapy even after they complete their treatment at MARR. I have a small handful of clients in this category and they are probably the hardest ones to say goodbye to or to "terminate" with as we say in the counseling world because we've had this relationship for a long time.

I have been pretty open with people about my own experience in therapy, and I know from a client's perspective how attached you can get to your therapist. This is always interesting to me considering usually you don't know the therapist personally, and you spend a limited amount of time with them. However, the topics I've shared with my therapist have been so near to my heart, such as the grief over losing my mom, struggling with friendships and family dynamics changing, questions about where God is leading me in life, and the waves of discontentment that that come with trying to trust God's plan for my continued singlesness, it's difficult to say the least to have to say goodbye to the person who helped you all the way. I believe that the way the therapist guides the termination process can be just as critical as anything we do. We discuss this in counseling school a lot about how to go about this transition. As a client, I had the option to come back and see my counselor at anytime, so that was comforting. Unfortunately, as a counselor, my clients will not have that option because I am moving to Africa.

My supervisor and I have come up with some ideas of how to transition them, so I feel good about a plan for them. It's been neat for me to reflect too on my feelings of sadness of these counseling relationships ending. I think you never know until you experience the power of counseling, and it's neat that I can see it from both sides, that God does something sacred in these sessions. I'd love to be able to see how God will finish writing their stories. But it's another opportunity to be reminded that it was God's work all along, and I have to trust in Him to carry them.

The Power of Soda

Maybe it's because I work at a Men's counseling center, or maybe it's because I never really grabbed on to much of feminist thought, but I think this new commercial is hilarious. Also if you've ever read "Wild at Heart" by John Eldridge, I think this is probably what he was talking about in terms of how men love adventure.

Additionally, I tried this soda just to see if something would happen. I kid you not moments later I was chopping down trees and pushing a van out of a ditch. So that give you some empirical evidence right there of the power of soda. Right, Simon?

Everything's Amazing But Nobody's Happy

A hilarious summary of our battle with entitlement that I believe we all suffer from here in America and maybe in the West in general.