Let it be to me according to your word

And the angel answered her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy—the Son of God. And behold, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son, and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren. For nothing will be impossible with God.” And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her. ~Luke 1:35-38

Every morning we start our days here in training in Belgium with worship, prayer, and a devotional. I am a sucker for all three, especially when I don't have to plan it but just get to sing and listen and pray using resources that someone else designed. It's cool because sometimes people will think of a song or use a devotion book or a encouraging reading that I don't use or haven't heard of before so it's different. For example, typically we ask one of our participants, 2 1/2 year old Hannah Cordell, for a song request at the end of our worship time, and because of that we've gotten to sing "Away in a Manger", "Jesus Loves Me", and "Holy, Holy, Holy". Pretty great!

Something that just hit me this week was the devotion that Carolyn did on Wednesday morning. It had already been one of those mornings where it just seemed like I could feel a personal connection to the songs picked and the prayers and everything else. It's cool when that happens cause let's be honest, we can all just sort of go through the motions with this stuff sometimes. But it seemed to me like God wanted to show me something that morning. Carolyn's devotion was on these verses that I put at the beginning. Although there are still a plethora of Christmas decorations out and about around Brussels to provide inspiration, what she focused on didn't have to do with Christmas but was focused on the last part of the verse which describes Mary's attitude towards God: "Let it be to me according to your word."

If you follow this blog at all, you've probably read about what my attitude's been like most recently regarding my own calling of serving in Ethiopia, which frankly has not been too positive. I know that a lot of this is normal, and I'm not going to like bash myself or anything about being sad or missing my friends at my old job, or the difficultly in this transition period, etc. However, I was really struck by Mary's simple response and obedience, meanwhile I think I've gotten way too bogged down in my present circumstances. Carolyn shared too about how Mary was likely around 15 years old when the angel informed her of her pregnancy, and that because of the cultural stigma around having a baby out of wedlock, she likely felt the shame of this for HER WHOLE LIFE. Her. Whole. life.

I started thinking about how actually this process of becoming a missionary to Ethiopia has been one of the most encouraging parts of my life. People have come out of the woodwork to support me with their presence, love, homes, finances, prayers, the list goes on and on. I can think of probably at least one example every day of gratefulness and confirmation that this is the path for me. Today's would probably be that I had a long exchange of emails with two of my teammates which reminded me of how much they already love me and support me by making sure I have details I will need in order to live in Ethiopia. I also got an email from someone who wanted to financially support me. However, it is so painfully easy for me though to completely lose sight of this. Sure there have been a small handful of people who have told me I am nuts to my face basically. Or there are days where I absolutely think I will not be able to survive saying goodbye to friends and family for two years. But it does put things into perspective when you think about blessings of God wrapped in Mary's obedience. She was known as the mother of God. I can say to God "sure, I will do what you ask" but then what about when He says I have a perfect plan for you and it's in Africa? That is when my words become actions, and God provides verses like these and people like Carolyn, that bring back to reality the difficulty, yet the joy of knowing that many years ago I made a commitment to live with Jesus as my Lord, which means doing what He asks despite the cost. And you know what, it might be hard but it is so good and sweet all in the same. I would never, ever, want to change that commitment, because His blessings way outweigh these times of pain.

God, may you give me the grace to let it be to me according to your word.

{the included pics are of me and Carolyn, who is currently serving in Uganda, and a pic of me with my mentoring group here in Belgium}