CIT

Many times during the week I have to sign official forms at my internship sites with Jessica Ringsmuth, CIT (counselor-in-training). Someday I hope those will be replaced with the three different letters that show you're like graduated and competent.

I have been pretty rough on myself as a CIT. I really, really, want to be an expert right now. It's very hard being the "newby". I haven't done any sort of new job for a different company since 2001. Now I have two new "jobs" with my counseling internships. Although I love getting feedback from people, asking questions, and I don't think I act like a know-it-all, deep down inside I want to be confident and not make mistakes. I want my pride to stay intact and always say the most therapeutic thing at just the right time. Is that too much to ask??

Folks have helped me realize that my expectations of myself are much higher than probably my supervisor's or even my client's even. You would think that would help.

Humbling situations is what seems to help the most.

On Monday morning, for example, I normally sit in on three groups at MARR. Recently in the groups I've been trying to add in my two cents instead of just listening as a participant. This is the point of learning to counsel, right? I have to try to say something. So last Monday the group leaders and I were there and while we were still waiting for a few folks to get in, one of the guys asked a question about getting a particular massager for his back. He wanted one of those simple, four pronged wooden things that he could use on his own to knead out knots. I piper in and say "oh yeah, I know what you're talking about, the Mr. Happy's." I know this because I have one and it is indeed called a Mr. Happy, complete with a smiley face. Well, at an all-men's rehab facility, of course the idea of getting a Mr. Happy is nothing short of hilarious.

Consider me now humbled, CIT.